Mel

{penis tuesday} that dude played the piss right outta me

We all know men are, um, “directionally challenged.” Will video-games-at-the-toilet FINALLY teach men how to aim their penis in the right place? THEN I’M ALL FOR IT! This sounds like something useful and effective to train boys in early development for purposes of toilet training: HOW TO PISS IN THE TOILET PROPERLY — and not spray the floor, the wall… OR THE FREAKING...

Mel

{penis tuesday} say what?

Mel

{penis tuesday} dick & marbles = love

I freaking love this bitch: {NSFW: but likely, my site is probably blocked, so you can’t see this anyway… but maybe you’re on vacation?!}

Mel

{penis tuesday} just another tuesday…

It was just your everyday Tuesday: wake up late, chug the coffee, run to your trainer appointment (still sore from last night’s two-hour practice). Then, you scan and snicker at the headlines for your favorite Tuesday Topic… And the story “WOMEN ARRESTED FOR FATAL DICK INJECTION” jumps out at you. I repeat: N.J. man dies from penis enhancing injection JUST ANOTHER TUESDAY of body...

Mel

{penis tuesday} Go Cocks!

A gift for me upon my arrival to Charleston… err, well, the night before I left actually. I love my friends.

Mel

{penis tuesday} impotencia!

I’m not too proud to mention that this clove cigarette pack was calling out to me from a trash can in the ladies room at Kelly’s Bar & Lounge last weekend. No, I’m not that desperate for a smoke — I just can’t help myself, when I’m drunk and see penis, I have to reach out and grab it. Heh. There’s no mixing warnings here at all. One, it’s probably not a...

Mel

{penis tuesday} pickle

Excuse me, sir. There’s a penis in my drink!

Mel

{PT} Pejazzling.

This gets a no. A sincere "no, I will go nowhere near your nether regions if you are wearing rhinestones, no." I am NOT a promoter of bedazzling your vag either, for the record.

Mel

{PT} What’s in a name?

The very shape of food can ask for head turn heads (ask the banana). I also watch America's Next Great Restaurant, where I was happily cheering for Saucy Balls. Food -- as well as its advertising and messaging -- and sex seemingly have a natural relationship. And man, I hate when all they do is break-up-and-make-up. But the following brands are treading a fine line of unintentional double entendres that are outwardly porn-a-rific! {OPEN TO READ}

Mel

{PT} Art All Night

Check out Diggin Pitt's Art All Night (in Lawrenceville) post (now: with PICTURES!). And yes, there were penises... I mean, in art, aren't there always? {open post for link}

Mel

{PT} Bonus: Semengate

“So there’s a deeper bond between men and women than St. Valentine would have suspected, and now we know there’s a better gift for that day than chocolates.” And yes, that line is in direct response to semen. *chuckle* As in: directly applied — in the vagine — the substance has mood-enhancing effects, thereby increasing bonding between males and females. Why can’t...

Mel

{PT} Religion is like…

Who wants to take a stab at finishing THAT phrase? Ahem: from: FFFFOUND!

Mel

{PT} Luxury Condoms

I've probably overwhelmed nearly every pun for putting on a condom, but when it comes (heh) to the ORIGINAL Condom, having safe sex is no joke. In fact, it's something of a luxurious experience. You know, because you have such discriminating taste... with those random, various anonymous vaginas. "Condoms protect everyone from disease; ours protect from tackiness" - G. de Bizemont Oh, the French.

Mel

{PT} Protect the Penis

I enjoy tutorials. Almost as much as I love how-to videos and illustrated instructions. I don’t need no stinkin’ Kama Sutra! Unless it’s the 1970s version, with all the hairy bushes because that, sir, is an awesome sex encyclopedia. So, naturally, I would love ThemaJock’s “How It Works” page. The thermal product’s main purpose is to “protect the...

Mel

{PT} Tree nuts

You know what I love... or shall I say, "WHO" I love? People who look out for me -- and my blog's favorite (and by all statistical accounts most popular) day of the week: Penis Tuesday. Thanks to Erin of 'Burgh Living for this fertility gem of a sac...

Mel

{PT} Skate nuts

You know those hanging balls that dangle from the hitch at the back of hoopties? OMG, I hope you do… Well, I FINALLY saw a pair out in the wild last weekend, while up in the North Hills. I wasn’t quick enough to snap my own picture, however. And while there is technically no balls in roller derby, YOU CAN ACT AS THOUGH YOU GOT ‘EM while you’re being awesome on your roller...

Mel

{PT} spiky “cactus”

Thanks to two lovely friends for being sharp on their penises. And knowing exactly with whom to share an important news story related to man and genetic “mutations.” And the ever-popular body part in this crooked penis in the woods. I’m so flattered. I think. I suppose it’s still better than having a SPINY PENIS. Also “scientifically” known as: Mating Plugs. Otherwise...

Mel

{PT} I can drive a stick

Isn’t it amazing the lack of GOOD forwards you receive these days in email, what with all the other sharing options available on the net. While my gmail account limits thank me, Penis Tuesday does not. So… yeah, you should email me when you find good cock: melinda {at} pursuitofyourboyfriend {dot} com. [Ed. note: NO PORN, PLEASE] That said, this gem was passed around gang-bang style from a...

Mel

{PT} Third Leg

I’ve found Sarasota’s Penis Tuesday within the Ringling Circus Museum. Three legs are better than two. Always. I certainly wasn’t the only circus freak with a perverted mind.

Mel

{PT} Don’t be silly; wrap your willy!

If you’re nude, tube your dude. Need condoms (and free ones, at that)? There’s an app for that. I feel like that’s been (over) stated. How meta. From the Consumerist: Nothing says “Happy Valentine’s Day” like free condoms. That must be why the New York City Health Department picked today to unveil its new condom-locator app for iPhones and Android devices. “We are...