I have been completely worthless in my hostess entertainment for you, Internets. I have no promises that I will be better either. Here’s a little update, bitches:
It seems the crappy holidays are upon us. Woo (emphatically woo, Scrooges).
Work has been kicking my ass because rates are low, and people want to refinance the shit [...]
Last week I went through a new set of roller coaster emotions — all the unnecessary gut feelings and penis panic eventually dissipated (as friends and phantom Internets assured me it would). And by the end of the weekend, I felt more like myself once again. Relaxed. With the fucking giggly happiness at inexplicable moments [...]
I am not feeling overly intelligent today, as a result of too much mixed concoctions of liquor — beer, wine, vodka, forgot-the-vodka-only-cranberry at HOB. BUT I am currently writing to you FROM HOME on my new laptop. Yeah! Unfortunately, the powers-at-be (aka: bank account) said no to a purchase of a new Macbook, so I [...]
Hey, fuckers. This has been a strange set of days. I lost over five pounds from abstaining from alcohol for a week (two days remaining), which is perfect timing to be all less bloated for my trampy Halloween stylings.
I finally had an AWESOME costume idea too. Yesterday. For my mom to construct in less than [...]
Listen up, penis doodles, I’m going to talk about women stuff. Women stuff related to my private area. Click “X” on your browser if you don’t want to hear about the stuff your girlfriend already comes home and complains to you about.
I don’t particularly mind my gynecologist appointment every year like most women seem to. [...]
Oh, Happy Monday. What a bunch of crap. I took a couple sleeping pills after having insane amounts of alcohol and insomnia, and damnit, I just needed a personal day to self-destruct. I make it mostly through my day, with crazy dreams that felt too real (and sadly, weren’t), then got called into the office [...]
Ladies & Gentlemen, I’m pissed off. I know this post goes against my “blogging vacation,” and again, what-the-fuck-ever to you (and you, while we’re going there). So, I’m back, but not really back as “me.”
I have spent at least 4 out of the last 7 days with a fucking knot in my stomach.
I tried getting [...]
I probably should have mentioned I will be utilizing a self-fulfilled blogging vacation this week.
Yes, I know this post goes against “not blogging while on hiatus,” but you can just shut the fuck up.
All your favorite parts of me will report for duty next week. Huh-uh, she said “duty.”
I was uber-spasmatic after going to watch Monty Python’s Meaning of Life at Cinema at the Square last night. I laughed my ass off non-stop, that I was crying. Gosh, good fun. I will sing the Penis Song and the Milky Way bit all weekend.
I had a few more winds left in me after the [...]
Borrowing from Alexa today, the stories of my three tattoos.
I have only three tattoos. I used to be the type of person that would get like full arm sleeves, but somehow I distanced myself from the industry.
My very first tattoo was done here:
That’s old school, fuckers — Geneva-on-the-Lake biker shop. A guy named Sarge inked [...]
I’m a little sad today. I’ve already felt considerably distant from my sisters, in both miles and that whole “life” stuff getting in the way of visits and lengthy phone calls. Urick Sister #2 that taught for the past year in the Dominican Republic is now moving to Phoenix to be with Sister #3 that [...]
Had to do this one today:
Blogging. You know, I really do love to blog. I also love you. I love that you have all joined me for this ride.
Awwww. Sappy. But seriously, do you think if I used that same line from the Twix commercial that I could get laid?
On top of some major PMS, I am sweating in an HVAC-free office with stress coming out my jing-a-ling. I have no idea what the hell that means. But I swear if I have one more person ask me to explain proration of taxes, I will put a gun in my eye.
I didn’t say I [...]
Thanks to my meandering into web things I do not completely understand, you might have noticed there was more than a little glitch with your favorite web reading pleasure yesterday. I still have a few little quirks that I need to tweak (ugh with this stupid contact form — I cannot remember the code fix [...]
While not being particularly interested in all-things-dating lately, I felt maybe the feelings and desires of the male anatomy just left me.
Then I went for an hour bike ride in the Rocky River Metroparks last night. I was reminded of the appeal of those strong pieces of man meat with every passing 30-something hottie with [...]
Twice in the last week I had dreams about SSD. (For those folks that don’t remember, the guy I dated a couple years ago). The first was rather tame. We just happened to be in the same place at the same time. Nice stuff. Last night’s sequence, he played a starring role (in the same [...]
What is the saddest love song? What song can be heard over-and-over, yet will still bring a small tear to your eye? Does it remind you of a particular moment?
Mine is Tony Braxton’s “Breathe Again.” Cannot listen to it. I can barely even hum it to myself. It’s just gut-wrenching. And yes, I remember years [...]
Deanna tagged me on her blog… and I should probably be doing other things, but this gets me a post on my page for the day. LOL
10 years ago:While I can barely remember yesterday, let alone 10 years ago, I’m almost positive I was still with my high school boyfriend… and still taking classes at [...]
In a friend’s blog this week, I empathized with her most recent "female breakdown." As I posted in her comments, I had my own come-out-of-nowhere sob fest this past weekend. Amidst a general query to home-improvement projects, I start to get really upset and burst into streaming tears. I can’t pin-point if it was result [...]
Ah yes, the boyfriend. Yes, he is still here — over five months here. Impressing, no? We both have settle nicely into Winter Hibernation Mode, which is welcome after all that holiday traveling. Last week we explored huge lessons in: a) fighting unfairly (me), b) not speaking (me) and c) playing the "I’m fine" game [...]
