Mel

{party favors} gimme a kiss!

Who wants some Whiskey-flavored kisses this Valentine’s Day? You should know that I first wrote that as “whiskey dick kisses” without irony. You know where my head’s at, AT ALL...

Mel

{pursuit of another birthday} a preview… or is it review?

My birthday is in one week, so... there goes 33, just as quickly as it seemed to approach.

Mel

{pursuit of love} How About We: Spring Fun

Ah, Spring. The perfect time to fall in love, no? I've had my fair share of seasonal romances, but even when part of a long-term relationship, I don't think that "dating" (each other, mind you) should cease. I know it's difficult, what with that hibernating shape you've seemingly taken on, but it's truly important to maintain some level of fun with your significant other to ward off any potential boredom. And oh my, do I get bored easily...

Mel

{pursuit of love} How About We…

In Cleveland, the city was on a lot of “worst of” lists — one of which, I distinctly remember referring to the city being a horrible place to be single. At the time, amidst several dating attempts and subsequent disasters, I had to agree. I wonder how Pittsburgh compares… You’re doing it wrong! Regardless, I think if you haven’t figured out WHAT it is you hope to glean...

Mel

A small (one page) request.

It’s the weekend. HAPPY WEEKEND! Would you mind answering a few questions about my blog? Sit back, have some hot cocoa (hopefully you have extra flavored mini-marshmallows in that mug!) and curl up with the kitties. They’ll love you for it. *I* will love you for it. I promise, it’s only one page, ten simple questions that won’t take you long at all… unless, like, you...

Mel

I was proud of my online dating profile. Even if it didn’t provide a shiny knight.

It’s been a while since I’ve required the services of an online dating service (thank GAWD). I had no personal success in their use, save for seeing several of my ex-boyfriends and reveling in their loser-dom, then crumpling in a sobbing ball of emotional breakdown, realizing that the same fate had been bestowed upon me. It was a sad, sad period of an extra 30 pounds, too many boxes of...

Mel

Pat McCrotch and other perfect names

I had the name “Pat McCrotch” printed on a sticker for my second car – a silver, nothing-power-operated Honda Civic, who was a total bitch when it came time to having an accidental spin out on I-71N. Yeah, my dad didn’t like that so much. The sticker or the accident, I digress. He also didn’t like the “Fuck” patch sewed into my college backpack. It was a misprint,...

Mel

Cleveland Lust Survey

Cleveland Scene Magazine posted a survey to learn all about your sexy, sexy time (and the people within it). Dare to answer honestly? I’m super curious as to how other Clevelanders would respond, especially to the “cheating” question. Oh, Scene… just make me a judge already. There are prizes for awesome answers — but NOBODY will be identified in print or online, so pay no mind...

Mel

The spirit of giving (and not just presents)

The last two nights have been wonderfully good-hearted and spirited. Thanks to a charity beauty event hosted by blogger pal All Lacquered Up, a few of us friends and bloggers were able to contribute to a good cause — all in the name of discounted beauty products. Our event raised over $700 for Dress for Success. Much awesomeness. More on my cool schwag in my next post. This blogger world is such a...

Mel

Online dating before there was an “online”

Yes, I’m old enough to remember accessing the internet by means of dial-up, slow-as-balls 96 baud connection to BBS boards… and well, when there wasn’t really a world wide web of shit to distract. But at least we had computers (even if I was doing even crazier shit like learning dBase). No cell phones in the 90s high school either. I had a lot of black lipstick and crazy socks and ear...

Mel

Nash-tastic.

Dammit. Jay Nash will not be stalking me again in Cleveland on the next leg of his tour with Catelyn Crosby. Driving to Columbus on a Monday in December. In the middle of what could quickly become Winter. Could be potentially hazardous to the relationship he does not know he has with me… yet. But seriously. Here’s something for your Finger-Bang...

Mel

Its ghost lives on… unless it’s in a vacuum cleaner bag.

I had a bit of time to write this afternoon, while I await a visitor (or is a coworker so much at ask?) to appear in the office to vacuum the giant hairy balls centipede underneath my desk. That I killed with Windex. His fault. He had a whole office to invade. He is the creature who so decided to crawl ever-so-close to my shoe. My cute little shoes that are never utilized to squoosh a bug. Never. Here are...

Mel

Mate Poaching

You know, we here at Life, Liberty & Pursuit of Your Boyfriend always believed that a taken man is decidedly sexier than a single man. Mostly because he is not a douche. Frisky (and Social psychologists at Oklahoma State University) agree. Mostly.

Mel

How to lose 600 calories while you read.

Daily, I’m reminded by MSN homepage or Yahoo Lifestyles the many “Duh-I-already-knew-that” ways in which to burn through the garbage calories from those two extra (bags of) jellybeans and the Organic 73% dark cocoa bar from Trader Joe’s. My solution doesn’t involve jump ropes, treadmills or excessive amounts of sweating… wait, never mind, it does: HAVE MORE SEX. Who...

Mel

I am giving up on making passes, and I am giving up on half empty glasses.

Mel

I’d pay the devil to replace her

Before you know it, another weekend of ex-boyfriends, Comfy Clothes and ice skating might be upon us. Let’s just get on with it, shall we two-horned horny beasts? Twestival was last Thursday at Harry Buffalo’s downtown, where a bunch of Twitter Friends made pals over free pizza and (not free) beer. Awesomely, I had two guy friends already in attendance.  And I did not win Indians tickets....

Mel

There are no bad dates. Just assholes for setting us up with them.

After chortling over a received text message with the words: date FAIL!, I thought about what makes for a good date and likewise for the bad. Cleveland Magazine asked me a similarly worded query years (ack, five) ago, and I think it’s still on point. Activity-based dates are still on the top of my list; I still want to do more camping and rock climbing and kayaking… and *sigh* I cannot WAIT for...

Mel

Pursuit of advice

Every now and and again, I receive an e-mail requesting advice. While experienced in dishing good advice to others, I rarely listen to my own Rules of Bullshit. Today, I turn to my readers for their suggestions to Relationship FAIL. Please leave a snip of advice in the comments. I’ll give my thoughts tomorrow. You know what else FAILS? Grammar class.  hello , i am currently dating this guy who...

Mel

Boyfriends make for good . . .

This was a weekend in which I was reminded how fun it is having a boyfriend. Friday night, HG & I went to Melt because boyfriends make for good grilled cheese partners-in-crime. Well, first we waited a LONG time for Melt, then we ate Melt. As sad as it is to make the statement that I will never taste a Chorizo & Potato Melt sandwich for maybe ever, I will probably not be returning to Melt. Sad,...

Mel

He who matures early lives in anticipation.

I surprised myself today with a random memory from when I first arrived in Germany last March. I had just picked up my rental Audi, and stopped off at a secluded rest stop just outside Frankfurt. It was just a breathtaking view — the lot overlooked a cliff, and I marveled at the bright green hills of the countryside. I also needed a mini travel nap. I was surprised that I could even sleep in the car...