After discussing the loss of inches in body measurements over the last three weeks…
Mel: I lost 3/4 of an inch in my ass!
BM: Wanna lose another 9 1/4 inches in your ass?
*ahem*
Yeah, so pretty awesome. I lost in inches everywhere — 1/4 in my waist, 3/4 in my ass and a FULL INCH around my [...]
(after talking about tonight’s plans with a female friend)
BM: (said) have fun pumpkin carving tonight.
BM: (heard) have fun carpet munching tonight.
Mel: Weird. Look at my arm twitching.
BM: Your arm is coming back to form with the two hours you spent jerkin’ off that guy last night.
M1:Did you get laid last night?
M2: I know, he’s all happy and whistling and singing today.
BM: Dude. It’s because I stopped smoking. I feel better, I look better… my dick [...]
BM: fuckin’ A!
Me: fuckin’ B!
BM: Wanna fuck?
Me: fuckin’ U!
M1: it’s telling to put it in a zip file and attach it.
Me: I don’t know how to do that. I only know how to unzip.
*office laughter*
I work with a bunch of perverts.
BM: Why do your boobs jiggle like that when you laugh?
Me: Because they’re real.
Me: I had a sex dream about you.
BM: We were having sex?
Me: Yes, I must have missed you while you were on vacation.
Day one:
BigMan: Are you going to have sex to that CD?
(laughter and some creepy sex movements)
M1: Definitely not a sex CD.
(said album was “Strawberry Jam” by Animal Collective)
M2: Do you remember Silk?
(the two M’s sing some random lyrics to Silk)
M1: Great sex album! Never had sex to it though. I did have sex to [...]
Life, Liberty...
