Mel

Heard Around the Office

After discussing the loss of inches in body measurements over the last three weeks… Mel: I lost 3/4 of an inch in my ass! BM: Wanna lose another 9 1/4 inches in your ass? *ahem* Yeah, so pretty awesome. I lost in inches everywhere — 1/4 in my waist, 3/4 in my ass and a FULL INCH around my thigh! (I even lost like a half an inch around my bicep, yo. 100 Push Ups App is the shit. I can still only...

Mel

Heard around the office

(after talking about tonight’s plans with a female friend) BM: (said) have fun pumpkin carving tonight. BM: (heard) have fun carpet munching tonight.

Mel

Heard around the office

Mel: Weird. Look at my arm twitching. BM: Your arm is coming back to form with the two hours you spent jerkin’ off that guy last night. M1:Did you get laid last night? M2: I know, he’s all happy and whistling and singing today. BM: Dude. It’s because I stopped smoking. I feel better, I look better… my dick is bigger.

Mel

Heard around the office

BM: fuckin’ A! Me: fuckin’ B! BM: Wanna fuck? Me: fuckin’ U! M1: it’s telling to put it in a zip file and attach it. Me: I don’t know how to do that. I only know how to unzip. *office laughter* I work with a bunch of perverts.

Mel

Heard around the office

BM: Why do your boobs jiggle like that when you laugh? Me: Because they’re real. Me: I had a sex dream about you. BM: We were having sex? Me: Yes, I must have missed you while you were on vacation.

Mel

Heard around the office

Day one: BigMan: Are you going to have sex to that CD? (laughter and some creepy sex movements) M1: Definitely not a sex CD. (said album was “Strawberry Jam” by Animal Collective) M2: Do you remember Silk? (the two M’s sing some random lyrics to Silk) M1: Great sex album! Never had sex to it though. I did have sex to Ginuwine “Pony.” (pause…) M1: I lost my virginity to...