I purged some more numbers from my contacts on my cell a couple weeks ago. Not surprisingly, after an endless stream of holidays wishes came via text, I received a message from an unrecognized number with a “Happy Thanksgiving” attached.
It was all caps too, which just makes it doubly annoying.
That’s too much (sexual) information. Courtesy of Dear Sugar - Weird Sex Statistics (and I’ll work through the quiz with you).
Question 1: How long does the average sex session last (foreplay not included)? Seven, 11 or 18 minutes?
This makes me feel very, very sad. Kind of like the time when I dated a guy that [...]
10SB left another voice message today. Why he bothered is beyond my scope of understanding. Even in his message he sadly proclaimed, “I know you’re not going to return my call.” And again, he hopes I am well.
I forgot. Didn’t he say in his last message - OVER A MONTH AGO - that he [...]
Ew. Found an e-mail that I sent to a friend at the beginning Mr. Waffles:
Subject: You deserve it!
I think you deserve a big “thank you” from me today. Yeah, I know it’s early on with whatever status our relationship is and all that crap, but I feel as though meeting him means there are [...]
I got “that look” from my sister when we at dinner together over the weekend. Not to be confused with “that” look, obviously. But that look of smug disdain while I rehashed my story of 10SB’s attempt in trying to communicate with me (multiple times) since the breakup, and my apathetic-ness towards it all.
That look [...]
I have to admit, Internet folks that my “clean sweep” was by far the best decision I made to move on from Mr. Waffles and others not-worthy-enough-to-be-named. After deleting numbers and email addresses, I continued to facebook and myspace territory, following the same suit.
By the by, don’t you love when another “friend” knows when they [...]
Today we turn to Yahoo! for our relationship pick-me-upper:
Dating 101: Why Guys Dump Girls They Dig
1. The timing is off
Ahem, bullshit. Your fucking watch is not broke. But my biological clock is ticking, bastard.
2. We’re Not Finished Playing the Field
Fuck off! Then go punt a foot into your balls.
3. We’re Fixated on the Worst-Case Scenario
I [...]
I have had enough.
Of drunk texting complete randoms, that is. And exes.
While some of my messages were ridiculously humorous (and naughty), others, well, were just ridiculous.
So, after my return to civilization (blah), I deleted about 20 numbers from my cell phone contact list.
Were you one of the lucky ones to stay?
Probably not, douchebag.
But you can [...]
I was reading an article online about cheating and the fantasy of coming face-to-face with the wench that ruined everything (of course, I can’t find the article now, but whatever, you get my drift). This happened to me, but in a very, very strange way, with a slightly satisfying outcome.
I was in a long relationship, [...]
Deal Breakers, Benching, Pancaked… eh, I could do without all the clever ways of you masking the fact you DON’T want to date me. Seriously, fucking man up, assholes.
But for the interested, here’s what you really get for breakfast when you are pancaked (courtesy of Urban Dictionary).
And then here are eight rules to “benching” (courtesy [...]
OK, so I finally had an opportunity to catch up on my guilty pleasure, The Hills (yeah, I know, dumb brain food) and its season premiere from this past Monday. While there’s certainly not any less drama this season, I think that they girls have definitely upped the bitch factor. And Lo can fucking bite [...]
You say “two-timing.” I say “cheating.” Let’s call the whole thing off.
There’s a new psychological term I learned this morning called mate poaching, which is the “behavior intended to attract someone who is already in a romantic relationship.”
If you’re interested in learning all the techniques and tricks of the trade, read the study created by [...]
CatScratch Diva’s insight into your modern-day man stealer:
Even if you are sadly repugnant and shameless. Wouldn’t you rather keep your girlfriend (who you know will be there for you) than to stab her in the back in order to have a one night fling with a her man who is going to talk down about [...]
What do you do with jewelry from ex-boyfriends? Keep it, sell it… ack, give it back? (whatever).
The ladies over at Ex-Boyfriend Jewelry have the right idea: a web shopping area designed for women to rid themselves of all those heartfelt gifts received when he cared enough to buy the very best. Or make up for [...]
This was the best camping trip yet! I am so happy I decided to go this year. I cannot believe for a second that I forgot how much I look forward to this trip every July. We had 99 confirmed campers — 88 of which were rafting. New River water levels were high, and I [...]
Re: ending relationships when things venture past the honeymoon phase
To: my ex-boyfriend
From: Mel, Shagger Extraordinaire!
Message: Read this MSN article, douchebag, titled “Will He Every Marry You?” Pay special attention to Commitment Factor #3. Or see below.
COMMITMENT FACTOR #3
He Truly Believes in Commitment
Even if a man tells you that he’s in it for the long term, [...]
Yeah for Mario Lopez. Douche-bag extraordinaire just got nominated by People Magazine for its Hottest Bachelor issue. Do you remember when I met him four years ago? Just gross. He was nasty then (inside and out) and is even more disgusting after his barrage of blah reality shows.
Consider this your kick in the ass, Slater. [...]
This has been a seriously awful set of four weeks filled with stressful situations. In the grand scheme of “life,” I suppose if I self-prophesied enough, it could be worse, right? I’m trying my best to be strong and resilient, but seriously… why am I being so tested?
I had another birthday. Yeah, 31!
My favorite “cool” [...]
There was this sad love-lost suicide article over on Cleveland.com a few weeks ago about a Westlake guy that shot himself because his ex-girlfriend wanted nothing more to do with him. (Thankfully, he did not go double crazy and kill her as well). As per usual, the comments blew up after the posted news, but [...]
If you have not seen Sex & the City yet, please look away.
Saturday night, I went with my sister and her friend down to one of the Akron theaters to catch the new release. First off, I have never seen a movie with so many Chatty Cathys — these women were critiquing and discussing EVERYTHING [...]
