I am the proud bearer of Long-distance Relationships. Why this seems to plague me since being classified as “single” a few years back, is beyond my understanding. But now I am inherently the woman that seems to not meet a guy that actually lives in Cleveland: SSD lives in Cincinnati — where I made the [...]
Peoples, I gots that tingle with the impermeable smile. The corny smile that I repeat in text, that gets returned. That, “Me, too!” That sappiness that you want to bottle up and savor for eternity, for when the shit (and the butterscotch-morsel cookie) starts to crumble. I am smiling. I am singing while driving to-and-from [...]
That’s too much (sexual) information. Courtesy of Dear Sugar - Weird Sex Statistics (and I’ll work through the quiz with you).
Question 1: How long does the average sex session last (foreplay not included)? Seven, 11 or 18 minutes?
This makes me feel very, very sad. Kind of like the time when I dated a guy that [...]
The gang is embarking on another camping adventure in Boondock, PA today for the remainder of the weekend. While I’m reminded of several camping memories from when I was younger, there is one particular incident from a camping trip two summers ago that still affects me as though it happened yesterday: The SSD Voice Mail.
It [...]
In a relationship I had this past year, there was an (un)expected death in my family. Shock at the tragedy fueled my need to be strong for both myself and my family. Needless to say, I was beyond the shock level when upon relying on a bit more strength from my then-boyfriend, he balked. He [...]
I randomly thought today about another guy that I briefly dated in high school. And believe it, Internets — HE WAS A NICE GUY. I was only in my sophomore year, and I remember him coming to pick me up at my grandmother’s house (he was a year or two above me).
I was in awe [...]
Wow. I was a bit hypocritical yesterday. I say a few days ago that I will welcome and embrace my “single-ness,” then I go and be melodramatic about wanting to be in a relationship.
There Mel goes again: The Walking Contradiction.
What do you want to talk about today? I initially declared September to be National Talk [...]
I’ve had the pleasure of being in love a few times. It is wonderful to be in that moment, even for a more realistic-than-romantic person like myself. That whole beginning, sappy, heart-bursting beginning to a newly-formed relationship. Just bliss and foreverness engraved in your heart. I started to think about my past loves — how [...]
I didn’t go all dramatic or crazy (or both) and destroy the contents of my ex box. As I opened it this weekend (whatever, I was already in a shitty mood), I realized this was not something I wanted to throw away. That being said, I did rid my box of a few less assholes’ [...]
Seeing as how I have unofficially dedicated this blog to my exes this month, how appropriate to have my guest blog about past losers appear on Ex-Boyfriend Jewelry — and on Penis Tuesday, to boot! If you don’t remember, I passed along some blog love to Ex-Boyfriend Jewelry recently, and they were awesome enough to [...]
I was reading an article online about cheating and the fantasy of coming face-to-face with the wench that ruined everything (of course, I can’t find the article now, but whatever, you get my drift). This happened to me, but in a very, very strange way, with a slightly satisfying outcome.
I was in a long relationship, [...]
Oh, Happy Monday. What a bunch of crap. I took a couple sleeping pills after having insane amounts of alcohol and insomnia, and damnit, I just needed a personal day to self-destruct. I make it mostly through my day, with crazy dreams that felt too real (and sadly, weren’t), then got called into the office [...]
Here’s my pee story on Helmet’s Blogapalooza as a return favor for his taking over my blog at the beginning of this week. Not surprisingly, it’s another fun, raunchy story about a perverted ex.
In spectacular MSNBC fashion, we females are served another ridiculous dating & relationship snippet about the book “Kiss and Run” by Elina Furman. Because you never can trust your own judgment or character, let MSNBC tell you if you are commitment-phobic.
Top 10 signs you’re commitment-phobic:
You have a long and elaborate list of requirements for your [...]
Today was a beautiful roll-down-all-the-windows day. But something was missing. I had work bag, purse, Esteban, my cell phone, water bottle, debit card — my mind is always questionable. Then I figured it out. I was missing my Journey’s Greatest Hits CD. The CD that always sat in the disk six position in my changer. [...]
What do you do with jewelry from ex-boyfriends? Keep it, sell it… ack, give it back? (whatever).
The ladies over at Ex-Boyfriend Jewelry have the right idea: a web shopping area designed for women to rid themselves of all those heartfelt gifts received when he cared enough to buy the very best. Or make up for [...]
I have some ex-boyfriends I would like to go away. Those pesky lil’ buggers.
In the past few weeks, I have made clean breaks from more asshats on the ex-list.
SSD came into Cleveland a few weekends ago. I found out from a 4 a.m. text message asking me “threesome?” After rounds of text messages over the [...]
Re: ending relationships when things venture past the honeymoon phase
To: my ex-boyfriend
From: Mel, Shagger Extraordinaire!
Message: Read this MSN article, douchebag, titled “Will He Every Marry You?” Pay special attention to Commitment Factor #3. Or see below.
COMMITMENT FACTOR #3
He Truly Believes in Commitment
Even if a man tells you that he’s in it for the long term, [...]
It has been a month since my most recent relationship ended. It feels longer. Weird.
For the most part, I have been thoroughly enjoying the company of my close friends, with whom I had unintentionally distanced myself. Even before my break-up, I realized that I needed to reconnect with these very important people in my life. [...]
Twice in the last week I had dreams about SSD. (For those folks that don’t remember, the guy I dated a couple years ago). The first was rather tame. We just happened to be in the same place at the same time. Nice stuff. Last night’s sequence, he played a starring role (in the same [...]
