Mel

You Know What I Hate?

Well, that title is rhetorical because there is an ever-rotating laundry and “honey-do” list of things I hate. Add to that: Crowds Dirty pans that sit on the stove for three days (and especially that grill pan that I cannot use the scrubber on… UGH) Touching surfaces in public (doors, revolving doors, railings, elevator buttons) Elevators, for that matter Slow drivers in the PASSING lane...

Mel

I don’t have a life insurance policy!

Since this flu/cold/immune system compromise thing has kicked my ass for yet another day, I missed our apartment building holiday party last night. Naturally, I sent AB down for food because they typically put out a serious spread (including beer and wine, which if I was well, would have been all kinds of awesome) — just a few nibbles, being that I don’t have much of an appetite. And he’s...

Mel

Return to Cleveland: for pork pig-out and birthdays

What is wrong with this picture? Downtown Cleveland feels dead to me now. This picture was taken on a beautiful day weather — see? the patios are all set up — on a SATURDAY. Oh, and one of those persons is a bum. With a REALLY long elevator pitch. I swear, I knew, like, eighteen-millionty people who had birthdays last weekend. The most important of whom, being AB, of course. This sentence...

Mel

Thank Josh Groban, No Sweetest Day.

Independent survey results show: ‘Burghers do not celebrate Sweetest Day (including one, “What the frick is Sweetest Day?” Best answer I could receive). Hopefully these needless card company-created holidays — apparently designed for Ohio and popular for Chicago residents, which is technically a bunch of ex-pat Ohioans anyway — will not cross outside the state border to its...

Mel

I’m going back to Cleveland, Cleveland, Cleveland.

(forever?) Huh. I don’t think so. No, not FOREVER, silly — to visit. Which still sounds weird, all things considered. I wonder if they’ve rented our old apartment. *thought process montage* /scene. Our October trip meshes well with Cleveland Beer Week (oh, the irony!)… or at least it’s uber-fantastic and drunken closing event, BREWzilla. And many thanks to Cleveland Foodie,...

Mel

“Stop Being White Trash!”

That’s what the female counterpart yelled at her male companion while he walked at least ten steps ahead of her on Penn Ave. Likewise in anger, there was another old man all sincerely pissed off that he couldn’t find an unlocked entry door at Heinz Hall. Then there was a guy across the street from us arguing with someone passionately. Without knowing the back story, these people were MAD,...

Mel

“Oh Em Gee — he’s going to propose!”

It seems to be a theme for friends, family and coworkers (and nebbies) to think that when you a) travel b) move in or c) move with your significant other that engagement rings are somehow immediately associated with said life event. Like, THAT’S THE DEAL, UNIVERSE — change of zip code and the nuptials will follow! While I like to think I finally set my friends and family straight that I am no...

Mel

“You’re not wearing that shit in our home.”

Deciding which items come and go while packing for the move has been… fun. I’m just happy we have an actual storage cage IN the building for some of our excess shit like bikes and camping equipment and tailgating clothing. And the new kayaks. *wink* Seriously, Cleveland apartment managers, extra storage space for residents somewhere within an apartment building is something to consider during...

Mel

To keep your boyfriend, you must remain HOT. And so must the boyfriend.

Why do women in relationships let themselves go? I’ve been working out on average five days a week. I’m strong, I’m lean… I kick some roller derby ass. I need to amp up my cardio, which I’m sure will happen naturally, where with my three practices a week schedule with BRRG. My arms are tight, but I still need work on the belly. While I’m not giving up beer, I have...

Mel

But you should see how I order a pizza!

I take the prize in many areas for Best Girlfriend Ever and would probably even be a good choice for a housewife, if that was truly my calling — you know, save for my arachnophobia and the watering of plants above my reach and my preference for truffles, not Bon Bons. But what lends very little to my contribution to a successful relationship is my cooking. My parents are good cooks. They seem to...

Mel

The Good, The Bad & The Hopelessly Menopausal Cat Lady

The Good: I’m generally happy. I’m staying busy. I’m probably in the best shape I’ve been in ten years. I found a sport and a group of ladies whom I obsess over more endlessly. I’m active. I’m involved. I’m finding success. All good, right? The Bad: I’m lonely. See, AB’s job took him to Pittsburgh, so in a twisted and incredibly sad way, we’re now...

Mel

Help me, help me!

Ladies (or Gentleman… it’s OK, you can admit to the following): You know the old quip that men can never ask for directions, hence the reason for the woman being lost in the first place and ensuing frustrations and arguments commence? Yeah, that. Yesterday, I was fucking worthless. I got lost in downtown Pittsburgh. I can find my way out of deserted gas station fill-up exits in the panhandle...

Mel

I try not to ruin surprises…

Just with Christmas, gifts were difficult to be kept under wraps. Obviously, we live together, and I’m home all day receiving the packages. But one key I never owned was for the mailbox. Now that AB is a long-distance boyfriend, I have control of the mail. On the same day I receive that key from him, I open the mail box to find two issues of Five on Five Magazine. “Awesome!” I think,...

Mel

There is such thing as a Derby Widow.

I swear, I picked the best sport to be involved with, now that I’ve seemingly become the better half of a LDR. *sigh* While AB misses out on most of my mid-week shenanigans, I’m sure he can relate to a thing or two (and OMG is he lucky about missing the smell of my gear when being aired out on the window sill! The stench is the only prevention in my cat not chewing everything to bits). He is...

Mel

Easter givings, food and offerings of cheese.

How was your Easter? I am seriously on carb overload. But YAY for Spring dresses this year and mojitos. And… that gorgeous bruise on my hand. Speaking of cheese, the Cheese Club at West Point Market in Akron is amazing. As such, their selection is equally as awesome. We came home with a honey nut gouda, aged habernero cheddar, and an never-before-heard and deliciously-buttery Bruges. Friday, I spent...

Mel

Lucky Day. Lucky Me.

One year ago, while snapping this picture of Terminal Tower on St. Patrick’s Day, I was standing with AB — on what could “technically” be considered our first date. One year later. ON THE BEST ANNIVERSARY EVER. I am still so in love with this man.

Mel

The Google Reader (as with life) overwhelms

I haven’t been interested much in your life. Right. So, why should you care about what I’m writing about? With the little free time I have, I’ve been learning how to sharpen my copywriting skills. How to run my own little business. Learning how to sprint with control using the front of my skates. Filing taxes. Chasing this damn cat away from chewing holes in the brick walls: Meanwhile, AB...

Mel

My boyfriend’s world

There is an even bigger generation gap beyond the years that separate us: When talking about popular lead singer, Susanna Hoffs… he had NO CLUE of whom I was speaking. You know, “Walk Like An Egyptian”? Geesh… Tragic, these kids born IN the 80s. Vending machines dispense awesomeness… at a price: I don’t use vending machines. We never had them at any of my offices....