Mel

{be mine} ALL YOUR CANDY CONVERSATION HEARTS BELONG TO US.

Eh, Valentine’s Day. RANT TIME. I don’t celebrate it — and not because I’m some anti-establishment, anti-greeting card company or anti-lovey-dovey holidays… um, person — but I guess I just don’t GET it. What’s to celebrate? Date Night. Blow jobs. Maybe a vase of flowers. All the stuff you should be experiencing as one-half (or one-third, I don’t...

Mel

{sunday funny} kitty’s got his swagga back

Mel

{conversations with the boyfriend} what-a-burger?

Boyfriend: Would you be offended if I put your cheeseburger on an English muffin? Me: Um… those are cinnamon-raisin English muffins. Dammit. A Michael Symon Lola burger sounds SO GOOD, no? I can’t think of a single burger that would use a cinnamon-raisin muffin as its bun though. DO YOU GOT ONE,...

Mel

{new homeowners} that plumbing and the leak

Seriously. We are on our fourth sink leak in this house since owning it. First (which we knew about before we moved in): basement basin sink was leaky — now fixed (plumber fixed because of contract contingencies) Second: kitchen sink was leaking all underneath the cabinet (combination of the boyfriend’s efforts and plumber fixed that) Third: last week, water started leaking out from the hot...

Mel

Not it. Well, I’m not it either!

The boyfriend says he does not use these towels. Yet, they end up this way Every. Single. Day. This is no fault of this household’s felines. That, I assure you.

Mel

The epitome of Battle of the Sexes.

This is dumb. I brought to this relationship an almost-new hand can opener that has the most awesome of rubber grips and non-rusted, can cutter-mechanisms. Seen on left. His: old, rusted, barely turns, hardly cuts and is completely awkward to use. Seen on right. We upgraded most of his hand-me-down utensils and such when I first moved in; my “stuff” was noticeably nicer — and lesser...

Mel

Back to having fun…

Since a) it's Friday b) it's April Fool's Day and c) Opening Day (Go Tribe!). Also, I'm completely over being in a funk this week. I got a chuckle over the copy from the newest cat toy we purchased (hoping that the cats would somehow play fetch with themselves, having the benefit of a bouncing tennis ball and a tail to carry it). And, duh, I'm drinking at noon to pretend I'm at Jacobs Field (no, no Progressive Field in this house), so everything is silly!

Mel

The {financial} battle of the sexes

I’m have no shame in admitting that I am NOT the breadwinner in this household. I just started my writing business last year and well, the boyfriend is a computer science dork. I will likely never be able to reach that kind of nerd-specific income, even if I published three books and regularly contributed to People Magazine. And I’m totally OK with it — my lifestyle is a LOT less...

Mel

There is a difference.

The boyfriend is going to lose a nut for this. This girl is JIF Crunchy peanut butter for life! And he should definitely know better what with all the PMS moments all cranky on the couch, with my spoon making a repetitive motion from the jar to my mouth. I mean, the all-natural stuff has a time and a place… but if it’s packed with peanuts, it better be JIF. *I was not paid for this post. But I...

Mel

2003

Mild pre-New Year’s Freak Out thinking about 2003. Why this year? Who knows the specific depths of my psyche, but perhaps because it lies so conveniently on the so-far-it-feels-forever-ago timeline, yet recent enough that I have some foggy memories that pop in every now and again. Mostly because the news can’t let me forget it. I was 26 – barely over my quarter life crisis; younger than...

Mel

It’s still November, and I’m still having a giveaway!

First things first: Win a $75 credit to CSN Stores! Christmas shopping approved. Giveaway ends November 30. Enter, bishes. I made it to the island last night. Neville Island, that is. I think I have a firm grasp on driving anywhere on 279, 65 and 19. It’s those even numbered highways that seemingly screw me up. Upon first crossing the Mc Kees bridge into… I don’t know. Is this the actual...

Mel

First! I’m having a lot of ‘em in this city.

First things first, enter my November giveaway for a $75 gift certificate towards your purchase at one of the awesome sites within CSN Stores. This post AKA: football and ridiculous shoe choices. A couple of weeks ago, we participated in our first Steelers tailgate since the move. I only go for the party. And to laugh and roll my eyes at girls who wear leggings-are-not-pants and five-inch heels to a...

Mel

I went to this rally, and all I got was this stupid condom.

No, seriously. I was handed this by a volunteer during the Marcellus Shale Project rally downtown yesterday. Way to save the Earth, by preventing future Capitalists. Point: Planned Parenthood. By the by, I thought at first, they were handing me free birth control (right, that would never happen)… but way to update the pill holder to total awesomeness:

Mel

Return to Cleveland: for craft beer

During our visit home this past weekend, we took part in the closing ceremony of Cleveland Beer Week: BREWzilla. While I would have liked to take part in the smaller, more intimate events scheduled, this party is still a great way to celebrate a birthday with 80+ of your closet brewery friends (ahem, AB’s). Having high expectations from last year’s debut event — which I wrote about...

Mel

I was dissed by a Drag Queen.

As many of you Internet and Social Media Whores know, today is National Coming Out Day — a day for allies of the community to ensure peace, love, diversity, solidarity, civil rights and sexless marriages to all. I’m not here to fight for my piece of the LGBT (and sometimes Q) pie, only that we need equality no matter your sexual, gender or Borne identity. I wouldn’t mind coming back as...

Mel

The SPAM hit the fans.

I get a lot of spam on this blog. While Akismet sends most of those canned responses to the spam filter, it also sends ACTUAL, REAL comments there, so I have to approve, spam or delete everything in both folders (the plug-in, it only assumes so well). It’s so time consuming, but hilarious reading fun at times. While, I’m used to the typical porn/medication/celebrity sort of spamminess, recently...

Mel

“Oh Em Gee — he’s going to propose!”

It seems to be a theme for friends, family and coworkers (and nebbies) to think that when you a) travel b) move in or c) move with your significant other that engagement rings are somehow immediately associated with said life event. Like, THAT’S THE DEAL, UNIVERSE — change of zip code and the nuptials will follow! While I like to think I finally set my friends and family straight that I am no...

Mel

End of an era

*sigh* Our first apartment is empty.

Mel

I am not ignorant.

I think I’ve surprised myself as to how long I could stay mad today. And the surliness is beginning to strain the muscles in my forehead. So, I think I’m done now. You know, for sake of  the lessened elasticity and propensity for wrinkles in my 30+ face and all, not because I am not still angry. That is all.

Mel

Help me, help me!

Ladies (or Gentleman… it’s OK, you can admit to the following): You know the old quip that men can never ask for directions, hence the reason for the woman being lost in the first place and ensuing frustrations and arguments commence? Yeah, that. Yesterday, I was fucking worthless. I got lost in downtown Pittsburgh. I can find my way out of deserted gas station fill-up exits in the panhandle...