Life, Liberty & Pursuit Of Your Boyfriend

In spectacular MSNBC fashion, we females are served another ridiculous dating & relationship snippet about the book “Kiss and Run” by Elina Furman. Because you never can trust your own judgment or character, let MSNBC tell you if you are commitment-phobic.

Top 10 signs you’re commitment-phobic:

1. You have a long and elaborate list of requirements for your ideal mate.
2. You go from one short-lived relationship to the next.
3. You have a habit of dating “unavailable” men.
4. You consider your married friends’ lives boring and think they settled for less.
5. You stay in relationships that are rocky and offer little hope of commitment.
6. You back out of plans at the last minute and have trouble setting a time for dates.
7. You cultivate large networks of friends at the expense of a single romantic relationship.
8. You have a lot of relationship trauma in your past.
9. Your career is very important to you and you often choose work over relationships.
10. You are constantly blowing “hot” and “cold” in your relationships.

Allow me to retort:

1. I had really stupid lists in the past. Only through dating, do you realize how ridiculous some expectations are. I don’t feel particularly picky nor do I have a “type” (unless “nice” is an option). That being said, everyone has a list of some sort. Long and elaborate? No. Sensible? Yes. I mean, I obviously do not want to date anyone with a handle-bar mustache.
2. Most of my relationships are long-term. Do I like to be in relationships — surely. But I went on a date with a guy that never had a relationship for anything over a year (ew). My “short term” relationships were about a year long. You do the figures and the math. I do enough at work.
3. Does “unavailable” describe those “bad boys” every Cosmo, Glamour & Claire provoke you to run far away from? Sure, there are probably a few of those mistakes inscribed into my dating book. Do I prefer unavailable? No. And seriously, after you have been there and been hurt… no thank you. But at the same time, I think the experience of dating an asshole followed by a douchebag has only made it more important to date someone that is not.
4. My married friends live awesome lives. I only hope one day to be part of their clique. Also, their husbands rock too. Maybe if I’m really nice, they’ll both take me home. Err, or let me use their barbecue grill.
5. This is the unfortunate part of this top ten list because I have settled into bad relationships. I think everyone has. Sometimes it is easier to stay; it hurts too bad to leave. And frankly, sometimes you just hope and pray everything will go back to “how it used to be.” Unfortunately, it usually doesn’t, and you kick yourself in the ass for not paying attention to your intuition in the first place. I have a few heel marks in my ass.
6. I love making solid plans for dates. I also love spontaneous “plans” for dates. Quite simple, if I like you and you like me, then I want to hang out. Making time for each other may be difficult with all life’s bullshit, but it is IMPORTANT. And you a fine muther-fucker, won’t you back that ass up?
7. My friends are da bomb. I wouldn’t give up my girls for anyone. Shit, they’re the only ones that seem to stick so far. I only hope my other half has an equal amount of awesome people in his support group. Also, sharing is nice. Friends make relationships easier, by the way. You need someone other than your significant other to bitch at once in a while.
8. Trauma — is that “baggage”? I read a nice quote the other day on a blog (I wish I remember where) and paraphrased, of course: If you’re in your 30s, you have baggage (ie: children, broken relationships, et al). And if you don’t? You probably didn’t have a life worth living. This is awesome because finally, it’s something realistic. Nowhere does it say you’re supposed to dwell on all that heavy baggage — but it’s there in all of us. And probably left at a few terminals in the northeast. Besides, how else would I be able to maintain this awesome blog without all those crazy stories of relationship “trauma”?
9. I love my job, but not enough for it to interfere with something I got going on in the romantic department. So long as I’m still paying my bills and getting laid, I’m perfect.
10. If those are not bottles of lube with peppermint tingle and hot lava burning sensation, then I have no clue where you’re going with all this.

So I think on this quiz, I scored all “C’s,” which means that I am definitely not commitment-phobic.

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