Advice: How to Ruin a Good Relationship.

Ex-boyfriends. New boyfriends. High school boyfriends. Potential girlfriends. Blog stalkers.

What to do with them.

It doesn’t take a relationship manual to tell me that I prefer they stay at least an arm’s length away from those who I previously held in coitus – you know, like a frenemy. Although I do enjoy scouring the internet for interesting sites dedicated to “advice.” Particularly fascinating are those dishing info on the mannerisms of a modern-day casanova or You Can Win Him Back! (exclamation point. question mark. WTF). Winning? Who is really “winning” when s/he dropped you (not like it’s hot) and you need to manipulate the situation as such, so a) you don’t appear to be a crazy bitch and b) you don’t appear to be a crazy bitch. Yes, men can be crazy bizz-snatches too. While I certainly plate up three courses (and dessert!) of Relationship Do Nots!, we all take this free guidance with a dash of salt. Right?

I mean, when do we ever REALLY listen to anyone’s misdirected advice.

When thinking of an ex, is maintaining a mantra of “ex for a reason!” important to engrain into subconscious memory, or is attempting to “get ‘em back” (and by that, of course, there are two ways: winning back his love and affection or vindictively ruin his life and curse the day he was ever born) the de rigueur of Young Ladyhood 101? And is it important to Google topics on relationships and all its failures or success stories to figure it all out? Do men really read this self-help nonsense, or is the writing geared to make women think all men read go-to guides to continue getting laid? Finding love, keeping love, getting love to give more love… head/desk. Oral sex.

Regardless, I have two pennies, and I’m more than happy to give them away. I HATE rolling those things…

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