Mel

Grady’s Size – more or less.

If your head is still stuffed up a turkey carcass, you may have missed that SEMI-nude photos of Grady Sizemore have made way to the Internets by means of cell phone pics “allegedly” emailed to his Playboy gal pal. An email account which was hacked “allegedly” by some stalker. Or a Canadian gossip Web site. My head is spinning of the conflicted accounts. And to Gay Socialites.com....

Mel

Ho, ho, holidays.

So… how was your Thanksgiving?

Mel

Winterfest Cleveland

Mr. & Mrs. Claus would like you to have some munchies (and some walnut-infused rum) before you freeze downtown tonight. Watch Public Square get lit up while you’re lit up!...

Mel

’tis the season

AB woke me up in bed with coffee (Dooley’s included) and peanut butter-walnut banana pancakes, then we took advantage of Black Friday. We drove out to Cleveland Heights for a little selfish holiday shopping, and took advantage of a doorbuster at Brigade (on Coventry). EVERYTHING in the store was 40% off from 10-12. It was packed. And I got my gray skinny jeans. And a Cheap Monday double-zipper gray...

Mel

Leftovers… from Penis Tuesday.

After taking a giant heapin’ helping of stuffing and mashed potatoes, why not meet me here: Well, what did you think that Granny did with all the turkey’s extra gizzards and such?

Mel

For what I am thankful

I am thankful to not have to work on Friday, and that work is steady once again. But not necessarily that I have to wake up to an audit first thing Monday morning. I will remember to look nice. I will remember to look nice… That being said, I am thankful that my vacation is mere six weeks away. Sunshine! Ocean! It’s been a while since I had me one of those. I am thankful I remembered nail...

Mel

Penis Tuesday

Last year, we gave thanks to Cooking With Penis because giving thanks this time of year is equally as important as getting revenge with your cooking. We’re not talking about cooking a bad turkey. Keeping with that spirit, let us give thanks to our loved ones during this most giving of holidays… with the Turkey Slap. Oh, the things you learn while researching topics for Penis Tuesday....

Mel

Blog it Forward

I love my fellow bloggers. Join Chef’s Widow, me and some other local fabulous bloggers over some drinks and tasty appetizers at The Greenhouse Tavern on December 3 from 5-7pm to help out one of our own. Do it! Calendar. Now! I have no idea what “Glog” is either, but it sounds something like a Glüwein, and of that I will drink a lot, so perhaps it’s something like that. Come...

Mel

I’m Getting Chocolate for Christmas!

It’s Christmas time… yeah, ALMOST Christmas time. Puke. Time to make stupid lists and spend stupid amounts of money on stupid people. Who does that? Well, I did for years, but thankfully my shopping list has been drastically cut this holiday. You know what’s on my list (and has been at least every year since my first German class in 8th grade) — chocolate. A gift that keeps on...

Mel

My Concert Bucket List

Completely random post over at Addicted To Vinyl this morning. RANDOM. But if you love Bob Seger, Sam Butera or Michael McDonald, perhaps you will be musically inspired as well. Doobie, doobie, doo! I’ve got an entirely separate post brewing for all-things-hate and Grinchy on Christmas remakes, albums and the like, so stay tuned to ATV....

Mel

Can we think about this seriously before a casino entertainment district comes to Cleveland?

At roughly 2:17am last night (yeah, I sleep with my iPhone under my pillow and grabbed it for the time), we were awakened (awoken? what happened to my English?) to a seriously loud ruckus outside. Seems that Barroom has succeeded in bringing underage-drunk shitbags to our neighborhood with its inception of a College ID night on Thursdays. Does anyone remember the incidents that resulted from Spy Bar and...

Mel

Eye Sty something really gross.

As you’ve heard me complain daily on Twitter, I have a stye on my freaking lower eyelid. There’s a first for everything: broken ribs, giant cluster of boils on your ass… all with healing methods consistent with a long wait. Ribs? Eh, nothing we can do — take some Motrin. Boils? How the fuck do I know. But it’s seemingly a lot of waiting for things to pustule and burst and ooze...

Mel

Online dating before there was an “online”

Yes, I’m old enough to remember accessing the internet by means of dial-up, slow-as-balls 96 baud connection to BBS boards… and well, when there wasn’t really a world wide web of shit to distract. But at least we had computers (even if I was doing even crazier shit like learning dBase). No cell phones in the 90s high school either. I had a lot of black lipstick and crazy socks and ear...

Mel

Penis Tuesday

And speaking of cougars… from failblog, obvs.

Mel

Sweet. Like cougars, but with teeth less sharp.

Yeah, yeah, hate. I read Dear Abby through Yahoo! Entertainment page every morning (because, what? newspapers? what are those?). At least I don’t read Perez Hilton or OK! Magazine. For seriously, I don’t get the obsession, as much as I don’t get the people who stand for hours outside the Hyatt Hotel in downtown anxiously waiting (and annoying me) for autographs when teams are in town....

Mel

May I borrow those?

Why on Earth would a stripper assume I like to cuddle after squishing her (ginormous) pillows into my face during a lap dance? Something about the manner of which my face scissored her cleavage? Did I nuzzle my head into her “shoulder” for too long? Perhaps I looked as though I needed a nap. I did leave abruptly because I was bored. It’s a usual Monday thought after the alcoholic haze...

Mel

The promotion that well, doesn’t really seem to promote anything.

Cleveland Restaurants Week sounds like a great way to get folks out to a restaurant not previously visited. This is the second year that I have participated in Cleveland Restaurant Week, and have been left, well, very hungry. There seemed to be a lot of buzz with friends on Twitter — even if I couldn’t seem to find a username for Cleveland Independents or Cleveland Restaurant Week. During...

Mel

Wait. Bike ride in November?

Finally I get a bit of Fall today! Lots of naked trees… After such a fun event at After Hours at the art museum (heh, boobies), another C-Squad night at Christie’s, drinks at chach bar Cadillac Ranch (yes, I know…yuck but we hoped for naked calender chicks), it’s nice to have Saturday to relax. ‘Cuz you know we got Sunday plans, Bitches. Market shopping (naked = shopping...

Mel

Nash-tastic.

Dammit. Jay Nash will not be stalking me again in Cleveland on the next leg of his tour with Catelyn Crosby. Driving to Columbus on a Monday in December. In the middle of what could quickly become Winter. Could be potentially hazardous to the relationship he does not know he has with me… yet. But seriously. Here’s something for your Finger-Bang...

Mel

What’s in the name: Mel?

On the day of my birth, I was to be: Melissa. The hospital had another thing coming, as five other Melissas were in the birth sanctuary that May 9. FIVE. So, my parents grabbed one of those baby name books, scanned the M’s, and came up with Melinda. Melinda. It is Greek for “Love Song.” I am neither Greek or a love song, but my favorite is “I’m All Out of Love” so guess...