Mel

Do you live the life you love?

How I wish I could be in New York on Sept 15, Oct 6 or Nov 3! Single Edition and Spark Network have created a series of single-somethings seminars entitled “Live the Life You Love.” Events not only include after-hour mini-makeovers and personal shopping expeditions, but expert panels include: “Money, Home and Security” — featuring financial advising, real estate and legal...

Mel

One bottle of Becherovka for admission!

Greenhouse Tavern is amazing. The rest of the culinary world agrees, of course. Within five days of our last meal (right, convenience of E. 4th living), there were at least three new menu items. Our friends from Indy were left pleased and beyond full. Ed note: Uh, so we may have gone back again last Thursday, which makes three times in a week. New record. This was for snacking and Jeni’s ice cream....

Mel

On becoming a true Clevelander

I am a turkey, Swiss, mushroom & honey-dijon wrap full of emotions today (yum, lunch). And I would like a bowl full of that Lucky’s Cafe applesauce, please. Anyone? While this morning was a somewhat sad watching AB pack the rest of his “things” from my condo in River, I was full of glee that we will FINALLY be in just. one. place. after five months of transporting overnight bags,...

Mel

Heard Around the Office

After discussing the loss of inches in body measurements over the last three weeks… Mel: I lost 3/4 of an inch in my ass! BM: Wanna lose another 9 1/4 inches in your ass? *ahem* Yeah, so pretty awesome. I lost in inches everywhere — 1/4 in my waist, 3/4 in my ass and a FULL INCH around my thigh! (I even lost like a half an inch around my bicep, yo. 100 Push Ups App is the shit. I can still only...

Mel

Speaking of . . .

Proof that we Clevelanders are truly a bunch of drunks. This release has no direct link to a study on the propensity of the population of douchebags, but I digress. Speaking of drunks, Browns season is almost here. The Browns season of which I will be living downtown. Me thinks this will be a season of Monday Hangovers, but I’m seriously reconsidering swinging back to my Steelers roots (it’s...

Mel

Penis Tuesday

Because really? Neither AB or I can get this out of our heads: I’m sorry, I know it’s old, but freshly reintroduced last weekend. The scene when both JT and Samberg are standing on the pier and do that little side-step dance, I die....

Mel

Jessie Steele WINNER!

I want to thank Single Edition again for an awesome giveaway opportunity. Please take the time to sign up for the Single Edition’s awesome newsletter and check out other styles of aprons for both kitchen and salons at Jessie Steele (there are so many favorites). In any event, Congrats go to Amanda, who submitted a three-course meal for my your pleasure. Please email me your mailing address:...

Mel

I hate drugs. But I love vodka.

Since when does Benadryl cause hyper-active nipple sensitivity and Jimmy Legs? It sounds like a perfect Seinfeld episode, no? I abhor having to take medications, specifically because of side effects, but I felt as though my throat was closing up from something I ate at my desk. By the time I left work and ate dinner, it was progressively getting worse. So, I popped a couple Benadryl. Within an hour, I was...

Mel

Dear Cruelest Gods in the Universe:

Subject: Bunch of Dicks. Well, aren’t you a mother fucker. Haha. Funny joke. Signed, Me. You know, the one whose breasts you stole since she started to eat better and exercise more.

Mel

Mate Poaching

You know, we here at Life, Liberty & Pursuit of Your Boyfriend always believed that a taken man is decidedly sexier than a single man. Mostly because he is not a douche. Frisky (and Social psychologists at Oklahoma State University) agree. Mostly.

Mel

It’s gonna be a bright, sunshiny day!

How can you not be happy around them? He’s wonderful. PS: Yes, I see that my frame is crooked. I fixed it after the picture. PSS: And yes again, that is the Cleveland Magazine issue that featured me way back in 2005. PPSS: I cannot find my 35th Anniversary issue anywhere (think 10SB kept it). There are no back issues online! GRRR! Can anyone find me a...

Mel

Penis Tuesday

This summer fun penis dressing got an end-of-the-week “WTF?” on twitter, which I bring to you once again for your tender nibble of a Penis Tuesday. I certainly hope that fabric is UVF/B retardant because that’s the sort of charbroiled weenie I just cannot digest. With or without the casing. Is this loin cloth intended for the man who has a full-on six-hour jolly? I mean, what happens...

Mel

I can haz soberz?

August started out with a bang, where with Krusty’s Summer Sauce Camp on Saturday and the Warehouse District Street Festival on Sunday. – I haven’t been to Krusty’s in a couple years, and it certainly did not disappoint. I ran into old acquaintances who I haven’t seen in ages and made a handful of new friends and babysat a dog named “Bob” (so cute) and ran into...

Mel

Wha? More bells?

Back to engagement stories again (why are we still talking about this?). I retold the story of my former engagement to AB the other night, and it was… weird. Having to recapture and retell a story that I had all but really forgotten (purposely, of course). Sure, stories of exes come up, but it was almost uncomfortable trying to remember that I almost married someone else. Someone wonderful, but not...

Mel

Ring, ring… that’s not my telephone!

Totally random memories prompt endless wastes of time on youtube… and then some. I received a Promise Ring from HSS some time right out of high school. It was a cute emerald and gold thing. After one particularly annoying and maddening fight (we were always fighting), I got completely pissed and flushed it down the toilet. I’m not quite sure what that promised. Haven’t you always wanted...

Mel

Penis Tuesday

Ahem, let us take a moment to read this disturbing penis hideaway. You must click, if only to read the line: I cleaned my penis with wet wipes. THAT IS NOT A CONDOM! And now that you’re done… thoughts? h/t to defunct blogger Blogging Jason via...