Mel

My baby she’s a Chippewa. She’s one of a kind.

Well, this summer just keeps strolling along, eh? There were no shortages of “Things Planned” for July, and August is looking much the same. But this past weekend was truly one of my favorites. I can’t place exactly why — a combination of company and weather and activities and fun, I suppose. Or all the sappy feeling that overwhelmed me once again, as result of PMS. That, I’m...

Mel

10 REALLY stupid things about women.

10 Things You Didn’t Know You Wish Men Knew About You Wait… wha? See below 10 items that I’m fairly certain I do not obsess about, with certainty that any woman who would WANT her man to know is genuinely and absolutely psychotic. 1. I’m convinced I’m pregnant and obsess about it for a minimum of 24 to 48 hours before my period, even when I have no rational reason to think so. Yeah,...

Mel

Penis Tuesday

Garth: Glow sticks can now be used as a sexual aid. Wayne: I did not know that. In other news, glow stick bracelets can also fit around a penis. Yup, Penis Toss. What’s that? Well, that folks, was a double dicker for your Tuesday. Save a horny man, have a threesome. I’m out....

Mel

A Weekend of Bliss & Water

I treasure that feeling upon walking back up the dock, which echos, “I love it here!” One of my favorite summer weekends.

Mel

A (non-PT) giveaway!

I crave good, fresh foods, and I love to cook. Being more-or-less single over the past three years, I have developed a broad range of cooking skills, kitchen supplies and cheese-favoritism. Thankfully, I gave up my lonely and pathetic ordering-two-pizzas-just-for-me role of singledom. Yet, I never had an apron! That’s why I was so super-excited to open my newest Single Edition package to find a cute...

Mel

Penis Tuesday

As much as this lovely musical list should be posted over at Addicted to Vinyl, we’ll keep the Penis talkin’ to a minimum on the sites to which I contribute. Here are “10 Songs to Be Circumcised To,” courtesy of the lovelies at Jezebel. Regardless of the touchy subject, there are a handful of GREAT songs that need to be added to Mel’s Crazy iPod. My favorites, Basement Jaxx,...

Mel

I see naked people!

During our pre-party/dance party before the Live concert at House of Blues this weekend, I casually spanned the windows on East 4th — only to see a girl in a towel walk into her living room. In porn-like dramatic fashion, she removed said towel and continued to dry herself off. Nude. In the middle of her living room. I’ve been known to stroll into the kitchen pre-shower in the buff because,...

Mel

Those slimy assholes are like disgusting slugs. Go back to your rock!

It’s Friday, so why not end the week with a slimy asshole story? I should invest in some rubber stamps imprinted with the word “loser” so I can mark each new jerk… I’ll call this one Real World because at first meeting, he reminded me of a past cast member (with the same first name. Weird). Anyways, we were drinking/party buddies for a few years, and then one drunken hot...

Mel

Have it your way… but three people will have to make it.

Driving home from West Virginia Sunday, I desperately needed a caffeine drip for the five hour drive home. I pulled over at a McDonald’s for an iced latte. Usually a combination of the sugar and coffee perks me right up. Needless to say, upon arriving at the pick-up window, the gal handed me a medium HOT coffee. When I stated that I ordered an iced, all amounts of WTF-ness ensued. I had to repeat at...

Mel

It’s a new day when drinking a beer makes you want to vomit.

And no, ironically it had nothing to do with the particularly shitty taste of Coors Light. I tried to have one beer at West Park Station last night after work (but only because it was free), and it did *not* go as planned. Neither did my portabello sandwich, but that’s another matter. Seriously, my insides have not been pleased the last three times I have had food at WPS. Foregoing the “white...

Mel

Penis Tuesday

This naked gem sent in from my Baltimore buddy, labeled as an event where “there was more exposed wang there than you could shake a stick at.” He was one of the skiddish participants mentioned with a conservative employers. Everybody wang chung, indeed. Shaking your stick not part of the record...

Mel

Monday, Monday

Viewing this picture this morning — embodies a lot of my emotions today: — from ffffound. While I am beyond exhausted, and probably touched with some sort of migraine/alcohol poisoning blend, I am beyond happy. And emotional, but that’s an entirely different matter.

Mel

Penis Tuesday Giveaway Winner!

And the winner for the Cum Off Wipes, courtesy of Single Edition is…. Lsrccrd! for the answer: “Longaniza from the Philippines.” Anything associating a penis, foreign or not, using the word “long” is OK by me. Thanks and send your mailing info to melinda@pursuitofyourboyfriend.com

Mel

The 4th that I did not spend independent.

Isn’t it a little weird upon discovering certain parts of your parent’s dating history? Like when I found out in high school that I was essentially the reason my parents married. For some reason it took me 17 years to figure out that the monthly difference between a December wedding and a May birthday was significantly less that the time it takes a baby to make. Lucky for me, I suppose, that I...

Mel

Penis Tuesday

Did you hear the one about the priest who flashed his penis to a passing motorist on 90 West in Rocky River? Sounds like the most perfect of set-ups to the best joke in existence, right? Forgive me Father Snyder (from this incident) for I probably would have reported your perverted ass too. What is it with the driving perverts on 90? I have witnessed on at least two separate occasions an incident of...

Mel

Love in the time of shitty rotors and brake pads.

Interesting fun fact of the day: Today would have been my three-year wedding anniversary. In a somewhat odd manner of celebration, I am going to have my brakes replaced today. Talk about replacement! There have been a LOT of changes (more than just a few new “car” parts) since the planning of that wedding (the engagement date was exactly a year prior to “the date,” so we’re...

Mel

Symon Says… AVON!

Wednesday was opening night at Bar Symon in Avon. We walked in a little after “normal” dinner hour, to a packed and bustling beautiful space, complete with local news crews (which we apparently made a brief crowd shot appearance for a split second… still locating the video). There was an hour-and-a-half wait. Admiring the bar (and varied beer list!!), we remarked how this was almost like...

Mel

Sidecars are for bitches.

I’ve been lucky to not have the pleasure of running into any exes lately. Save for the ones with whom I am actual friends… and that have maintained a low profile in the douchbag categorization. This past Wednesday, while out with AB, I came one degree shy (of running into, not becoming a douchebag myself) by seeing LD’s (“Last Douche”) friend. I was casually strolling through...

Mel

The one where Mel cries

No, it wasn’t because of The Proposal, although it was a seriously cute movie. And by cute, I mean “Holy hell, Ryan Reynolds is so freaking hot naked!” of course. We had dinner before the movie at El Rodeo in North Olmsted. While I’m a bigger fan of Nuevo Acapulco down the street, I had not been to Rodeo in a couple years. And for once at a Mexican restaurant, I did not order three...