Mel

Never. Again.

Internets, I’m very, very sad today. Nay, heartbroken. This type of post is never easy… My man is leaving Cleveland. I was really thinking this one would last — even if just through the summer. I mean, it’s been a rough few weeks, and he hasn’t been so much on his A-game, so I suppose I should have expected something like this. Nonetheless, these sort of separations are never...

Mel

Rain Delay

I put my weather on shuffle. Check out my Songs to Blame For the Rain over at Addicted to Vinyl. Duel post Day — ZOMG! Frequently, I see the Google Search “things to do with your bf on a rainy day” come up in my stats. It’s as if the rain comes and all of our relationships are doomed! I can think of 101 Things to Do With My Boyfriend on a Rainy Day. And 100 of them have to do with...

Mel

Penis Tuesday

Eh, put a sock in it: Or take that sock out of your pants, and recycle its additional use as part of a life-sized sock monkey. Complete with Giant Sock Monkey Penis (courtesy of Women Be...

Mel

I’d rather be busy WITH beavers than just busy as a beaver.

I realized I still have a few Vegas stories to tell. No time for that today. I also haven’t shared with you all the awesomeness of my birthday celebration. No time for that either. I did have some time last week to piss off a few folks on Addicted to Vinyl. They love me, really. And then I added some sexy local politicians to the running for Sexiest Politician 2009. Seems as if I’m everywhere...

Mel

Penis Tuesday

Ladies, start your vibrators! Gentlemen, lube up your leftie because your girlfriend is right! May cannot pass without a reminder to take some time to love yourself during National Masturbation Month. Yes, all the month of May you have permission to wank it, spank it, flick it… or lick it (if you are ever so talented). So, beat your meat, choke that chicken, crack one off, click your mouse, pet the...

Mel

Miss Mel’s Picks for Sexiest Politician

Sure Kevin Coughlin is a tall drink of water. But I’m no longer thirsty. You know what I am? I’m hungry for some meat in this competition. Hot, spicy sausage. The lady friends and I have discussed (and drooled over) the contendors, and here is my threesome for Sexiest Male Politician 2009: Congressman Tim Ryan has been a site favorite, nay, shoo-in; however, that horse-in-the-headlights picture did...

Mel

Penis Tuesday

Get Your (Cleveland) Rocks Off over at The Modern Gal. For my birthday, MG posted answers to my interview questions about being single in Knoxville (compared to The Cleve), her ability to hang when she does make it to party here with me… and of course, her selection for Penis Tuesday. The phalluses invade us...

Mel

I’m loving it. And by “it,” I mean “getting older.”

Ah, yes, tomorrow is my big day… again. And it will certainly be more fulfilling than free Red Robin burgers and the movies. But I’ll be sure to take advantage of the free burger some time next week! Somewhere in Vegas, when I realized how different a trip it is while in your 30s, I probably swore up-and-down that I would *not* drink again. Ooh, the vacation hangovers are the WORST. It never...

Mel

Penis Tuesday

File this under: You Can’t Take Mel Anywhere! Why, it’s Penis Tuesday on vacation! Who needs Shower HEAD, when there’s Shower Shaft? (courtesy of Encore Las Vegas and my childish humor in penises of all shapes, sizes… and temperature controls). They DO exist!...