Mel

Penis Tuesday

AHHHH! You know how difficult it is to write (aka: “fuck off at work”) when it’s the end of the month in the real estate industry? I’m giving you the shaft, of course. Then tomorrow I’ll tease you again with links to shit and all the other things I didn’t do. Read below for your Penis Tuesday pleasure: Secrets of the Phallus: Why is the Penis Shaped Like That? (h/t...

Mel

A good week to be (locally) wined and dined!

This has been a flavor-intense week. If there is any wonder why I look like a 10-pound overweight Midwestern slob in Vegas at the pool next weekend, I will know why. Hot AND un-tanned. I will fit right in… Don’t you hate when early Sunday afternoons feel as though it’s already prime time? I hope this weekend is not like that. After a delicious breakfast wrap at Waterstreet Grill, we...

Mel

Ernest Hemingway

The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places. A newly-discovered quote that encapsulates the resiliency that I have experienced my entire life. And this beautiful quote will soon take form of a tattoo somewhere on my body. Perhaps on my ribcage, where I ironically broke three bones years ago.

Mel

You got a fast car; I want a ticket to anywhere…

Cars and vacations. My life — and my savings account — all seem to revolve around these two items. This month has been a doozy for O.C. (the car). And I cannot wait until May 1 when I am on a plane across the country. To warmth. And without having to look at my back bumper. If you are following me on Twitter (oh, you’re not? The shame cast on you, as I have not truly disappeared!), you...

Mel

Penis Tuesday

It’s hard not to notice when your penis is “as big as a house.” Really, I love the one-uppers in Google Earth World. A 60-foot penis is a great way to get noticed.

Mel

Another day, another Marc Dann update.

Turn and Coughlin Nothing brightens my day more than an email message from The Professor with the words “loud sex” in the subject line, directing me to Cleveland’s freshest political sex scandal. Nothing, other than to be on the receiving end of said “loud sex” with GOP Hot Stuff Kevin Coughlin. Yes, class, today we commence with a repeat lesson of Political Science 216: How not to kill your...

Mel

How to lose 600 calories while you read.

Daily, I’m reminded by MSN homepage or Yahoo Lifestyles the many “Duh-I-already-knew-that” ways in which to burn through the garbage calories from those two extra (bags of) jellybeans and the Organic 73% dark cocoa bar from Trader Joe’s. My solution doesn’t involve jump ropes, treadmills or excessive amounts of sweating… wait, never mind, it does: HAVE MORE SEX. Who...

Mel

Penis Tuesday

The holiday guide to handling your Easter Eggs with care.  Adding yet another sexually-perverted euphemism to my catalog, I will never look at Easter Egg Hunts ever the same. How many times do I need to remind you that the balls need lovin’ too?

Mel

Penis Tuesday

Because my Tuesday is almost over, and well, I needed to post something today for the weekly pervs, I’m linking you guys to a hilarious story posted over on That’s What Je Said. “Je” is a 20-something from Seattle, and this was a guest post… blah, blah, blah, friend-of-a-blog-friend, but they have a similar sense of all life’s hilariousness… and ahem, penis...