Mel

Text-appropriate

Very rarely are text messages from me appropriate. Besides being all thumbs on my shitty flip-phone, I am guilty of texting at insane hours without time concept (re: insomnia) or being overly sarcastic or ahem, “notty” (seriously, I don’t think most guys know how to spell this word)… or ack, while imbibed. The conversations are all over the place. And completely misunderstood. And...

Mel

A hug will do

Yesterday was a horrible day.  Nay, the week has been pretty horrible. And more than just because I missed your weekly dose of Penis Tuesday. For good measure, I’ve stocked up Sleepytime Tea (new and improved and enhanced with Valerian) and it seems to be helping with my insomnia. And I have been in bed TIRED every night by 8 p.m. And waking up before 6 to get to work. At least I’ve got one...

Mel

There are no bad dates. Just assholes for setting us up with them.

After chortling over a received text message with the words: date FAIL!, I thought about what makes for a good date and likewise for the bad. Cleveland Magazine asked me a similarly worded query years (ack, five) ago, and I think it’s still on point. Activity-based dates are still on the top of my list; I still want to do more camping and rock climbing and kayaking… and *sigh* I cannot WAIT for...

Mel

Must attend event for Cleveland Females!

Received this in my spectacular things-to-do in Cleveland box today (mark your calendars): Friday, February 6th Shaker Square Cinemas will be hosting a special Ladies Night benefit party starting at 6:30 PM for Rainbow Babies & Children’s Hospital Circle of Friends. Your $35 admission will include: * A ticket to the 7:30 showing of “He’s Just Not That Into You” * 2 complimentary...

Mel

Pursuit of advice

Every now and and again, I receive an e-mail requesting advice. While experienced in dishing good advice to others, I rarely listen to my own Rules of Bullshit. Today, I turn to my readers for their suggestions to Relationship FAIL. Please leave a snip of advice in the comments. I’ll give my thoughts tomorrow. You know what else FAILS? Grammar class.  hello , i am currently dating this guy who...

Mel

Penis Tuesday

It’s not too often that I’m inspired about penises from other women bloggers — mostly just by stalkers, lurkers and creepy third-floor neighbors. That being said, today’s inspiration brought to you by Allison from Confessions of a Cohabitant. The 12-year-old penis mind of a 29-year-old male with penis...

Mel

Boyfriends make for good . . .

This was a weekend in which I was reminded how fun it is having a boyfriend. Friday night, HG & I went to Melt because boyfriends make for good grilled cheese partners-in-crime. Well, first we waited a LONG time for Melt, then we ate Melt. As sad as it is to make the statement that I will never taste a Chorizo & Potato Melt sandwich for maybe ever, I will probably not be returning to Melt. Sad,...

Mel

Yeah. 2009. No witty tagline.

Here’s what I said I would attempt to accomplish in 2008. You know, as far as resolutions go and stuff. 1. Writing goals: shit out of luck on most of these. I never really found more of a motivation to write other than here on this blog — in which I think I did OK. Cleveland Magazine and Cleveland.com’s Blog 5 think so anyway. Although I am still plugging away trying to find an...

Mel

Penis Tuesday

Hot and cold. On and off. Turn it counter-clockwise…  I can’t keep up anymore. Can I just get a cold, clear drink of your faucet, please? And clean up all that hair!

Mel

Some people get mad, some get angry, some ride bulls. None is inducive to solving any relationship ills.

Fifteen whole days away. Sheesh. If ever someone needed a vacation, it would be me. I had so much going on during my hiatus. I probably should have kept a journal. (I know most of you were keeping up with me on twitter). First for Christmas, was meeting HG’s family in western Ohio. I failed at an after Christmas (mens-only, apparently) ping-pong competition, but reigned at air hockey (OK, HG beats me...

Mel

Worth repeating?

Sent in email to a good friend: Yeah, I really like him. And it scares me shitless. That makes perfect sense, right? Sorry for the neglect, Internets. Apparently I lost my free wifi signal at home while I was away, and haven’t had much in the way of extra time these last few days (or motivation to go dressed in PJs to the coffee shop). I finally returned home from Arizona on Wednesday evening. I...

Mel

Maybe I need some resolutions

Whew. I am beat. While still on vacation, I am completely exhausted. Thankfully, HG is out on the golf course, so I can lazily move from bed-to-pool with greatest of humbleness. Phoenix is fantastic. I’ve added a shade of red to my skin lounging around the pool and hiking Mummy Mountain. I have also acquired some fun bruises from a) hitting myself in the face with the door at the airport restroom; b)...