Last night, I had to do a quick run through Giant Eagle. Women behind me in line came up with a LOT of tonic water and a case of beer and a bottle of booze. I let her place her things on the belt in front of me (she was struggling), then she remarked about [...]
Yes, Santa Claus is cumming to town…
Merry Christmas!
Holidays are a time where many of you single folks and newly coupleds will meet your SigOt’s family. I will be doing the same… omg, right?
In the spirit of the holidays, I wanted to share some personal humiliation from my dating history while I was with The Fiancee.
TF and I dated for about four years [...]
I surprised myself today with a random memory from when I first arrived in Germany last March. I had just picked up my rental Audi, and stopped off at a secluded rest stop just outside Frankfurt. It was just a breathtaking view — the lot overlooked a cliff, and I marveled at the bright green [...]
I figured what I would enjoy for Christmas (bow wrapping is optional, nudity is not)…
Never be too good,
Mel
Dirty pop music: Dear Marie Claire: After being a loyal Glamour subscriber for over a decade, I canceled and subscribed to your periodical. Somehow I grew old of the tired, old rehashed BS seemingly multiplying issue-after-issue. As of the current issue, with ho-bag-big-boobs Jessica Simpson, I will be canceling yours as well. For pretty much [...]
I have been completely worthless in my hostess entertainment for you, Internets. I have no promises that I will be better either. Here’s a little update, bitches:
It seems the crappy holidays are upon us. Woo (emphatically woo, Scrooges).
Work has been kicking my ass because rates are low, and people want to refinance the shit [...]
I return today for a lame update to your weekly penis pleasure. My group of friends does a yearly holiday White Elephant gift exchange. Two years ago, I inadvertenly received this from my friend D:
This year, I opened this (also from D):
Now, a Penis in which to sleep would make my holiday exchange complete.
My typical running motivation kicked into high gear this week. Awesome. It’s cold and snowing in Cleveland, in case you haven’t noticed. Same time as two years ago, where I felt my legs itching for a twelve-mile trip to nowhere. Where else to run, since the motivation wanes as quickly as the mercury: the fucking [...]
At some point in life, I’m sure your conscious has pondered, “Self, how can I get six penises at the same time?”
It’s OK, I won’t tell. And I most certainly will not share.
Smaller-than-average enough to shove all six in whichever hole you please, all while getting sticky under all that cream cheese frosting… oh, that’s [...]
Last week I went through a new set of roller coaster emotions — all the unnecessary gut feelings and penis panic eventually dissipated (as friends and phantom Internets assured me it would). And by the end of the weekend, I felt more like myself once again. Relaxed. With the fucking giggly happiness at inexplicable moments [...]
This was too important to leave down in the comments.
Commented by anonymous “Lonely” here on LL&PoyB:
The whole debate over pros and cons of long-distance relationships assumes that you have the ability to choose one over the other. That one day you wake up and decide, “I want to date someone” and then only need to [...]
In what initially started as a seamlessly happy week, Hump Day arrived, carrying with it two incidents involving my exes and an embarrassing tribute to life as a single person.
First wasn’t that particularly awful, and not all that bothersome to this modern girl. I understand nobody can prevent with whom they are attracted, and I [...]
One of the most horrible outlook-altering phases of a budding relationship is the adoption of insecurity. As a twitter consensus produced, I am not alone in enduring this awful transition in dating somebody new.
I have festering feelings — wondering if I’m smart enough. Or pretty enough. And gosh darn it, does he like me? Yes, [...]
Here’s something to do out in the ‘burbs this weekend with all that snow. You won’t need to bring a penis because you will build it… and they will come:
I love you cock! *kisses*
…phone calls every night just before bedtime — even if we’ve already talked that day.
…middle-of-the-work-day phone call to let me know he’s coming in a day earlier than expected AND staying in town for a full weekend.
…talking flight plans for New Year’s? Just might be somewhere partially desert and mostly sunny. Together? Woah. And sounds [...]
Life, Liberty...
