Mel

What loneliness is more lonely than distrust?

Like yin and yang or chocolate-chip morsels and spoonfuls of peanut butter — for every good, there is a negative. What’s so negative about the latter? Caloric intake, people. And I’m trying to curb my emotional eating. We’re meeting again to continue our talk about long-distance relationships. Today: cons. As most would predict, you cannot gauge one LDR by another – as...

Mel

Unknown

I purged some more numbers from my contacts on my cell a couple weeks ago. Not surprisingly, after an endless stream of holidays wishes came via text, I received a message from an unrecognized number with a “Happy Thanksgiving” attached. It was all caps too, which just makes it doubly annoying.

Mel

Once upon a time, in a long-distance relationship — far, far away…

I am the proud bearer of Long-distance Relationships. Why this seems to plague me since being classified as “single” a few years back, is beyond my understanding. But now I am inherently the woman that seems to not meet a guy that actually lives in Cleveland: SSD lives in Cincinnati — where I made the trek time-and-time again because I felt as if he was worth the drive, save for the fact...

Mel

Thanks for nothing?

I am hungover from pie. Thanksgiving is a time to enjoy massive amounts of pumpkin in three different locations  (including a piece of my pumpkin cake creation for breakfast and a sprinkle of pumpkin pie spice in my coffee) and even a huge piece of Patterson’s cherry pie (oh my God, yum!). As holidays normally progress, Apples to Apples and Catchphrase were huge successes (on both sides of the...

Mel

Du brauchst doch keine Angst zu haben.

Peoples, I gots that tingle with the impermeable smile. The corny smile that I repeat in text, that gets returned. That, “Me, too!” That sappiness that you want to bottle up and savor for eternity, for when the shit (and the butterscotch-morsel cookie) starts to crumble. I am smiling. I am singing while driving to-and-from the office (including head bounces and driver-seat dancing much to the...

Mel

Blogging

Blogging has become somewhat of a social media sensation. I created my first blog in 2002 with the help of Blogger. This free-based weblog hosting site also allowed me to brush up on those HTML skills that I learned in college. I was young — a naive and inexperienced writer — but found a small local Cleveland audience (and some pervert in Massachusetts)  through my hilarious (and mostly...

Mel

Penis Tuesday

Yeah, yeah, so I missed Penis Tuesday last week as result of BlogSecret, and well, freaking about my dating mishaps. Stop giving me shit, or else I spit it back in your eye. I tried hard not to share this week’s selection for Penis Tuesday. Really, really hard… I couldn’t resist. It is so disgusting and hilarious at the same time, I am probably the only one that can give it to you proper....

Mel

Coffee, meet computer screen.

This horoscope courtesy of Daily Bedpost cracked my shit up today: taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th) It’s a good thing a bunch of family holidays are coming up, because you need some kind of speed bump on your highway of sin. And what better to keep your mind off of cheap and easy sex than a visit with your big, blue-haired Auntie Bertha? The only legs that should be spreading in anticipation of a good...

Mel

It’s just a hand!

The Frisky posted tits and tidbits in How To Tell If A Guy is Serious About You online recently. In expected fashion, guys buying flowers and stalking/jealous tendencies are classified as “not interested.” But using “we” in conversation, revealing intimate feelings and being nice to your friends (not including wanting to get with your friends) are on all included on their list to...

Mel

Good night, bad knight

The holidays are approaching. Those questions will be asked. The idea of heading to yet another table full of plus one dinner guests physically makes me sick to my insides. In the essential sense of dating and relationships, I have not cleared that level of the game (no matter how it has been hinted). Single women know the quizzical routine: Dating anyone? If you’re dating: Is it serious? If...

Mel

And the giggles continue…

Hot Guy & I had an awesome date night. I originally planned a night of carefully laundering unmentionables and folding sweaters, but HG drove up (through cold and snow, people) to hang out. We shared a beer flight on $5 Burgers Tuesday at Rocky River Brewing Company. I acted all beer snobby; he retold the (stretched and jerking) tale of the Thanksgiving long cock — which BOTH waitresses...

Mel

You had yourself a crazy lover

Does it matter if he said I was crazy before or after the date? Does it matter that I deflected it by saying, “Good crazy, right?”

Mel

Blog Secret!

Hey Internets! Today is not only Penis Tuesday (post to come later), but the day a group of us confess a secret to the entire blogging community. In return of posting someone’s secret, I, too, released a secret. With all the submissions, it could be fun trying to match the contributors to his or her own secret. Go to SoMi blog for links to all the submissions. Below is the submission I received: My...

Mel

She’s hitting on you!

Two glasses of Niagara white wine before I get picked up for my date. The Posh drink – at Luxe Bottle of Malbec (shared) – at Luxe Two vodka/cranberries (very little cranberry, thankyouverymuch) at Jazz 28 Couple of waters Two Highballs at Velvet Tango Room Yup. That sounds like the perfect combination of alcohol to render myself helpless against my hot date. That hot date that went amazingly! We...

Mel

Freelance Goal #1

A leap of faith, in its most commonly used meaning, is the act of believing in something without, or in spite of, available empirical evidence. (from Wikipedia) While the profound philosophies of Soren Kirkegaard based the “leap to faith” in religion, there comes a point in life where I believe one needs to re-evaluate not only faith, but his or her own life. With a majority of...

Mel

Once upon a time on a cold & rainy date night…

Today is my date with 2Hot. (The more I type that acronym, the more it makes me cringe — I intend to have a new nickname after the date tonight). Upon the realization that I am severely overdue in completing my laundry, I now need to go out and buy a new top. Thankfully, my black bra is clean. I have a few ideas on places to go after dinner: live music joints, awesome martini locales… being...

Mel

Today, I learned…

(OK, not today, but yesterday…) I learned that Shady McS may not be that shady, and he may or may not be too hot for me. Regardless, I need to figure out a new nickname. He flew into town last night, and asked what my plans were. Then he met up with me and the bloggers at our hoppy Blogger Bash. First, how awesome that a) he wanted to see me again b) he wanted to hang with my peeps AND he did not...

Mel

Open letter to Angela Senters

Dearest Ang, I’ve certainly had my share of pompous assholes, stupid douchebags and imbecilic pricks. But your significant other (ironically fulfilling all aforementioned categories), Angie, certainly is the icing on the cake wreck. While it may seem significant for your boyfriend  to offer up bullshit in order to seem… well, the smart one in the relationship, please take it for what it is...

Mel

And I missed…

the most important part of my catch-up post: The freaking 2Hot-McShady guy wants to see me again this weekend. Holy crap. And we’re having, like, a real dinner date… in a place where you can’t get away with those sort of shenanigans. Hah. Well. To say I’m excited is an understatement.

Mel

WordPress ate this post last night

I’m sure most of you with blogs realize how annoying it is when you spend a decent effort in creating a post (complete with links), only to have the computer crash — or worse, WordPress not save it — no matter how many times that “last saved/edited” time stamp comes up in the sidebar. *sigh* So, in an effort to not piss myself off in redundancy, here’s the (somewhat)...