Archive for November, 2008

What loneliness is more lonely than distrust?

Sunday, November 30th, 2008

Like yin and yang or chocolate-chip morsels and spoonfuls of peanut butter — for every good, there is a negative. What’s so negative about the latter? Caloric intake, people. And I’m trying to curb my emotional eating.
We’re meeting again to continue our talk about long-distance relationships. Today: cons.
As most would predict, you cannot gauge one [...]

Unknown

Saturday, November 29th, 2008

I purged some more numbers from my contacts on my cell a couple weeks ago. Not surprisingly, after an endless stream of holidays wishes came via text, I received a message from an unrecognized number with a “Happy Thanksgiving” attached.
It was all caps too, which just makes it doubly annoying.

Once upon a time, in a long-distance relationship — far, far away…

Saturday, November 29th, 2008

I am the proud bearer of Long-distance Relationships. Why this seems to plague me since being classified as “single” a few years back, is beyond my understanding. But now I am inherently the woman that seems to not meet a guy that actually lives in Cleveland: SSD lives in Cincinnati — where I made the [...]

Thanks for nothing?

Friday, November 28th, 2008

I am hungover from pie.
Thanksgiving is a time to enjoy massive amounts of pumpkin in three different locations  (including a piece of my pumpkin cake creation for breakfast and a sprinkle of pumpkin pie spice in my coffee) and even a huge piece of Patterson’s cherry pie (oh my God, yum!). As holidays normally progress, [...]

Du brauchst doch keine Angst zu haben.

Wednesday, November 26th, 2008

Peoples, I gots that tingle with the impermeable smile. The corny smile that I repeat in text, that gets returned. That, “Me, too!” That sappiness that you want to bottle up and savor for eternity, for when the shit (and the butterscotch-morsel cookie) starts to crumble. I am smiling. I am singing while driving to-and-from [...]

Penis Tuesday

Tuesday, November 25th, 2008

Yeah, yeah, so I missed Penis Tuesday last week as result of BlogSecret, and well, freaking about my dating mishaps. Stop giving me shit, or else I spit it back in your eye.
I tried hard not to share this week’s selection for Penis Tuesday. Really, really hard… I couldn’t resist. It is so disgusting and [...]

Coffee, meet computer screen.

Monday, November 24th, 2008

This horoscope courtesy of Daily Bedpost cracked my shit up today:

taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th)
It’s a good thing a bunch of family holidays are coming up, because you need some kind of speed bump on your highway of sin. And what better to keep your mind off of cheap and easy sex than a visit with [...]

It’s just a hand!

Sunday, November 23rd, 2008

The Frisky posted tits and tidbits in How To Tell If A Guy is Serious About You online recently. In expected fashion, guys buying flowers and stalking/jealous tendencies are classified as “not interested.” But using “we” in conversation, revealing intimate feelings and being nice to your friends (not including wanting to get with your friends) [...]

Good night, bad knight

Thursday, November 20th, 2008

The holidays are approaching. Those questions will be asked.
The idea of heading to yet another table full of plus one dinner guests physically makes me sick to my insides. In the essential sense of dating and relationships, I have not cleared that level of the game (no matter how it has been hinted).
Single women know [...]

And the giggles continue…

Wednesday, November 19th, 2008

Hot Guy & I had an awesome date night. I originally planned a night of carefully laundering unmentionables and folding sweaters, but HG drove up (through cold and snow, people) to hang out. We shared a beer flight on $5 Burgers Tuesday at Rocky River Brewing Company. I acted all beer snobby; he retold the [...]

You had yourself a crazy lover

Wednesday, November 19th, 2008

Does it matter if he said I was crazy before or after the date?
Does it matter that I deflected it by saying, “Good crazy, right?”

Blog Secret!

Tuesday, November 18th, 2008

Hey Internets! Today is not only Penis Tuesday (post to come later), but the day a group of us confess a secret to the entire blogging community. In return of posting someone’s secret, I, too, released a secret. With all the submissions, it could be fun trying to match the contributors to his or her [...]

She’s hitting on you!

Sunday, November 16th, 2008

Two glasses of Niagara white wine before I get picked up for my date.
The Posh drink – at Luxe
Bottle of Malbec (shared) – at Luxe
Two vodka/cranberries (very little cranberry, thankyouverymuch) at Jazz 28
Couple of waters
Two Highballs at Velvet Tango Room
Yup. That sounds like the perfect combination of alcohol to render myself helpless against my hot [...]

Once upon a time on a cold & rainy date night…

Saturday, November 15th, 2008

Today is my date with 2Hot. (The more I type that acronym, the more it makes me cringe — I intend to have a new nickname after the date tonight). Upon the realization that I am severely overdue in completing my laundry, I now need to go out and buy a new top. Thankfully, my [...]

Today, I learned…

Friday, November 14th, 2008

(OK, not today, but yesterday…)
I learned that Shady McS may not be that shady, and he may or may not be too hot for me. Regardless, I need to figure out a new nickname. He flew into town last night, and asked what my plans were. Then he met up with me and the bloggers [...]

Open letter to Angela Senters

Tuesday, November 11th, 2008

Dearest Ang,
I’ve certainly had my share of pompous assholes, stupid douchebags and imbecilic pricks. But your significant other (ironically fulfilling all aforementioned categories), Angie, certainly is the icing on the cake wreck.
While it may seem significant for your boyfriend  to offer up bullshit in order to seem… well, the smart one in the relationship, please [...]

And I missed…

Tuesday, November 11th, 2008

the most important part of my catch-up post:
The freaking 2Hot-McShady guy wants to see me again this weekend. Holy crap.
And we’re having, like, a real dinner date… in a place where you can’t get away with those sort of shenanigans.
Hah. Well. To say I’m excited is an understatement.

Wordpress ate this post last night

Tuesday, November 11th, 2008

I’m sure most of you with blogs realize how annoying it is when you spend a decent effort in creating a post (complete with links), only to have the computer crash — or worse, WordPress not save it — no matter how many times that “last saved/edited” time stamp comes up in the sidebar. *sigh* [...]

Penis Tuesday

Tuesday, November 11th, 2008

Hey, guess what? I am a whole new penis today. Transformation complete.
I know most of you get your Mel pleasure from your Google Reader, but check out my new site digs, courtesy of Delicious Design Studio. Jess rocks my socks.
Few more things to double your pleasure:
Add my feed to your penis.
And have your penis follow [...]

Poopie

Sunday, November 9th, 2008

I am not feeling overly intelligent today, as a result of too much mixed concoctions of liquor — beer, wine, vodka, forgot-the-vodka-only-cranberry at HOB. BUT I am currently writing to you FROM HOME on my new laptop. Yeah! Unfortunately, the powers-at-be (aka: bank account) said no to a purchase of a new Macbook, so I [...]