Life, Liberty & Pursuit Of Your Boyfriend

The front piece of this cheap six-drawer dresser that I have in my bedroom fell off today from one of the middle drawers.
Of course, had to go and be the “naughty drawer.”

I just caught wind of this blog Daily Bedpost. I tend to shy away from all-things-celebrity on the web, but this has a good blend of hilarious celebrity dating gossip, sex/dating/doctor advice and blurbs from those clueless womens’ rags. I was on a random “Things To Do Before You Die” web page (I like to [...]

I swear if I hear one more on-air broadcaster use the phrase “an historic” event or achievement or whatever, I will cut out your fucking tongue. Say it with me: historic. Starts with an “H,” right? The “H” sound in said word receives an “a” at the front of it. For reference, the word [...]

Here’s my pee story on Helmet’s Blogapalooza as a return favor for his taking over my blog at the beginning of this week. Not surprisingly, it’s another fun, raunchy story about a perverted ex.

OK, now that I’m over feeling depressed over my current state of personal real estate, we can move on to more important things, like alcohol.
Before and after last Friday’s NIN concert, I paid my respects in bar tabs at Boneyard, Flannery’s pre-show. If I may mention living arrangements again, the Gateway District is still one [...]

I met with my Realtor last night to place my condo back on the market. Obviously, it’s NOT a good market to do that, but I never realized HOW bad. It’s worse than I imagined. I purchased it in 2006 — completely renovated with everything brand new (sans furnace). My market analysis reports that no [...]

The Nine Inch Nails concert at the Q Friday night definitely goes into my Top 5 List of All Time concert experiences. Just. absolutely. fucking. incredible.

Our seats were right of stage (thankfully, since I’m just too old to be moshing in general admission anymore) in the club level. Thinking that NIN would go on around [...]

Penis for breakfast is a perfect start of the day to put your mouth around something tasty and get a little protein.

I mean, I obviously like my penis with a hard white and a runny yolk. Penis for breakfast, again? Crap. Gives a whole new meaning to the pick-up line, “How you you like your [...]

I have no idea where or when Helmey and I became blog butt buddies, but ’tis true. Seeing as how I have limited technology access this awful Monday morning, I leave you with a guest post from Blogapalooza. And I intend to return the favor for his blog this week with a post about [...]

Day 14: still no nicotine. Gum chewing (Orbit, not some nicorette crap) has also subsided dramatically.
I’m sure you can all guess the status of my penis.

I admit, I do not have a lot of patience. Not for drivers going ten below the speed limit in the passing lane. Not for things that say they should work as instructed, but don’t (I’m not even sure that sentence makes sense. Verb usage? WTF? Anyway). I have ZERO TOLERANCE when I’m hungry and [...]

I have great friends. Good times, bad times, drunk times, they always lend a warm heart, an open ear and sometimes, a tasty beverage. I get a text last night during my Toast to the Trail event with an offer of a FREE ticket to see Nine Inch Nails tonight at the Q. Words cannot [...]

Technology never ceases to annoy every fuck out of me. I switched to Verizon last year, after multiple years of bullshit with AT&T/Cingular/at&t. Not surprisingly, right out of the box, my phone did not work in my office or my condo. You know, those two places that I spent majority of my natural life. Finally, [...]

I’m sure many are at a loss of words today. While I haven’t particularly cared for many of Connie Schultz’s columns over the years, her editorial today was perfect and touching. If we can learn something (but only one of many, many fantastic qualities) from Stephanie Tubbs Jones as a woman, it should be to [...]

I’m either too hungover or too tired for a full weekend recap, especially being that it’s already Wednesday, but here’s a little run-down of some of the shit I’ve been up to in Cleveland:
My friend came in from Columbus on Saturday. It was the perfect opportunity to eat at Luxe. I started off with a [...]

OK, so I finally had an opportunity to catch up on my guilty pleasure, The Hills (yeah, I know, dumb brain food) and its season premiere from this past Monday. While there’s certainly not any less drama this season, I think that they girls have definitely upped the bitch factor. And Lo can fucking bite [...]

Another place in Cleveland where I get lost is Tremont. How about when I left my location, attempting to find the freeway (or a familiar path), that I found the signs for the Cleveland Vibrator Company. I was also on the phone and totally screamed, “I know this place!”
Then, I found my way. [...]

Clone your willy!
Clone your bone!
Cast a shadow on your girlfriend’s new man with a nice anniversary present to the couple. Your penis. Because you need to show ‘em who’s really the boss. And you know, she always misses your penis most. Probably doesn’t matter much that you never made her come.
Make your own dildo here.

I was so excited this weekend for a beautiful Saturday morning for a long bike ride. I hate when a week or so passes, and I have no spare time to get out. Not unlike all my other trips, this was equally as adventurous. I had two main points of interest: Great Northern Mall [...]

I utilize Dave’s Supermarket deli counter services once or twice a week. Why, you ask? Because I love sandwiches. Could be turkey and sharp cheddar or swiss and salami (my choice today). Every once in a while, I skip the counter and head for veggies at the salad bar to stuff in a pita. (Yeah, [...]