*blue balls not included.
In a friend’s blog this week, I empathized with her most recent "female breakdown." As I posted in her comments, I had my own come-out-of-nowhere sob fest this past weekend. Amidst a general query to home-improvement projects, I start to get really upset and burst into streaming tears. I can’t pin-point if it was result to frustration over the conversation or just your garden-variety breakdown, but I could not muster any sort of composure. There were big words thrown out there like "manipulative" and other synonyms referring to some sort of tactless shrew in the room (ahem, me, which I retorted, I’m certainly not smart enough).
End result: not consenting to any female weakness tragedies, I covered my head with the blanket.
Back to my on-line comment, my friend asked if I felt better once I let it all out. Truth is, it sort of made me feel defeated in a "oh-she-went-there" way. As if those prior adjectives said to describe my character were in fact true.
Reading: (not even for pleasure, but to fall asleep) "Smashed: Story of a Drunken Girlhood" by Koren Zailckas
To Do-ing: I’m almost geared up to finally add some design elements to the blog, AND starting the brainstorming process in developing my own freelance entity. Working on a rough outline for my first ebook challenge, with subsequent meeting next week — I think my idea is fantastic, but just pray the motivation keeps with me throughout the month of March. In the meantime, I am working on two separate "people profile" features for freelance projects. Wasting a LOT of time playing Mahjong on Esteban… WHILE watching the worst of reality television (c’mon, "Bad Girls Club" — everyone needs a fruitless pleasure – AND "Rock of Love" — puke, but the chicks are kind in rock-and-roll-hot for my eyes). Went to my CIFF volunteer meeting this weekend and totally geared up to cross that off my 43 Cleveland+ list! Catching up with friends (finally) this week. My brother’s band is performing in Cleveland this Friday, and I am free to catch his show (he’s a totally rockin’ drummer)! Slowly watching the month of March go into the no-free-time shitter.
Esteban, in full action at Spring Training, is working out to: "The Girl You Lost to Cocaine" by Sia, "Clumsy Sky" by Girl in a Coma, "Glory Box" by Portishead and "Transliterator" by DeVotchka.
Thinking: After all it is those who have a deep and real inner life who are best able to deal with the irritating details of outer life. – Evelyn Underhill
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This blog is about pursuit: a transplanted Clevelander (me) in a new city (that's you, Pittsburgh!), pursuing the role of a self-employed copywriter, becoming a roller derby badass and somehow merging all my to-do items into one ever-growing Bucket List.
And of MY boyfriend. His blue balls started this mess.
